Here I am. Two weeks from graduating with my very first, very authentic, highly desirable, much sought-after Bachelor of Arts Degree in English, I am writing. For free. What happened? I am rather prone to scanning my tongue across my top lip and clicking my thumb and forefinger together when I am anxious. Today, I would like to pull out my thumb from the rest of my hand, attach pretty pink, purple, and teal tissue paper to it, maybe throw on some glitter, and then glue it to the table out of pure, crazed anxiety. (I find arts and crafts to be dependable stress relievers.) Do you happen to know anyone who pays well for kindly decorated dismembered digits? I just received my degree...where's my job?!