Jubilee!

A year of Jubilee. It hit me listening to the radio. A woman in deeper than she planned credit card debt was chatting about the new Credit Card Bill of Rights. I asked the Lord to grant her her own year of Jubilee.

What credit card company would forgive debt? Well, maybe if you're persuasive you could get your fees reduced or minimum payment amount altered. But completely forgiven? No way.

But the Lord had different plans. He had jubilee in mind, he had freedom in store. He said that every 7 years should be a year of jubilee--debt forgiven.

I was at the Farmer's Market today and when I came home and was washing the strawberries, I smiled to see the "ugly" berries. I try to check for them in all of the produce I buy. I know that if the fruit and veggies have imperfections that they are real. Only soil-grown, organic produce doesn't look perfectly pretty and shiny. You have to go the supermarkets for that stuff. At the Farmer's Market, it's just the real stuff--the dirty, varied stuff.

Is that how I can know I am real? My imperfections? My many debts? My dirt-rubbed skin? Do they prove that I am real, that I exist in this struggle to glorify Him in all I do? I think so.

Too often, we can sit down and even in an iron sharpening iron situation, point out the one who is always struggling. The one who just seems to always be in something or other. But the struggle is so worthy and the fighter so honorable! Not shiny and attractive like pesticide sprayed food, but they are the non-glamorous juicy and nutritious real thing. Fighting the struggle, being in the midst of laying things aside and picking up your cross doesn't look shiny. It looks ugly.

But it's the half-picked through, dirt-rubbed and sometimes even dented produce that is the real fruit. And God has already planned for us messy ones--He has promised Jubilee. It is here in Jesus! And the messier we are, the more we need Him!

Thank You, Jesus, for imperfect food, dirt and most of all, for You, our Jubilee!

Cheap fun for the Fam

I would like to remember to post this closer to the date, but I can assure that I will not remember! So, here it is a few weeks early:

Family Fun Day at Tolmachoff Farms in Glendale
Saturday, June 6 8am-2pm

"Pick your own seasonal fruits and vegetables in the U-pick garden, see how fast you can husk some corn, tour the farm on a train ride, find the needle in the haystack and remember the moment with a picture on a pony. If you get a little hungry, enter the watermelon-eating and seed-spitting contest or simply visit the food sample and vending booths. Admission is $4 for ages 2 and over." For more info click here.

Hope to see you out there!

Farmer's Encouragement

One of my favorite people in the world turned me onto a new blog: A Holy Experience.

I am in love. First of all, it's a husband and wife team who up and moved to start a farm in Canada. Her insight into their daily life and incessant redirection to our Creator inspires me. Maybe today you're wondering if anything can grow in your life, in your day, in your family, in your heart. If so (or if you simply like to hear more about Him in our daily life), here's a post I have to share from her blog (if you visit her blog she has pictures of the crops of which she writes):

Monday, May 18, 2009

Time and Space

They said that's all we'll need.

Farmer Husband takes me to the field to see where they think the miracle will take place. With a little time and space.

When we laid those seeds into the ground, it was wet in the fall, and late, nearly October, winter wheat before the snow. Wheat sprouted in autumn dampness.

We saw green before the freezing, barely.

The snow came early.

I felt it in my bones before it came, chill snaking up the spine, and when it finally coiled around us in a hiss of white, I kept thinking of homeless Ken and his buddies huddled in their sleeping bags and how winter would slither up those stark Toronto streets, up a man's back turned.

For weeks, the snow lay over the fields, lay that wheat down to dormancy. I only imagined how it covered humps under blankets around Toronto's Nathan Philip Square.

Then, restless and wayfaring, snow moved on for a bit in February, stripping that wheat back bare. Leaving it naked to that wind howling and moaning over snow's going.

Subfreezing temperatures, standing water, ice encasement, bitter winds, all the elements corkscrewed around our wheat. When the land finally heaved high with frost in March, the wheat writhed a death heave of its own.

Farmers call it winterkill.

I have no idea how Ken and friends fared.

"Ann?" He calls from the back door, work-wizened hand still on the doorknob. I come find him there with wind-burnt face, his coat still on.

"The neighbors have got to be laughing at me out there fertilizing that wheat. There's whole acres out there where it's pretty scarce. Hardly anything. A sprout here and there... and a whole lot of empty space." He shakes his head.

"I'm wondering about just ripping it up."

"Tonight?" I don't want to ask how tearing up the wheat might tear up our pockets.

"I guess I should call Agricorp in the morning, and get someone out here just to make sure that's the right decision." He sighs deep and we're two weak smiles made stronger by the sharing.

"He's all good."

Come morning, after the crop inspector leaves, I'm running a stunted wheat leaf through my fingers, veined life reaching for sun, and Farmer Husband's bending over a worn patch of earth.

"He says all we really need is one wheat shoot for every square foot. That's it."

"Really?" I can't envision it. Patches of the field look rubbed raw.

"Yeah, I know. It's hard to believe when you look at it. But he said he's seen it before like this. Just be patient and give it time and each stalk will stool out."

I scuff the bald earth. "Each shoot will fill in with more stalks?"

"That's what he said. It sure doesn't look great right now." He's counting out how many shoots every few feet. He straightens up.

"Give it a few weeks and she'll fill in, and he thinks we should get 80 to 90% of the yield." Farmer Husband's smiling, chuckling, believing the unexpected.

And I'm thinking about Ken and me and those who are cast offs. Some rough days with some kids I know. A bad life-patch that looks like it should be ripped up. People and hopes and love rubbed raw.

Maybe nothing in life is ever a write off? People. Relationships. Dreams.

What seems hopeless today may be flourishing tomorrow.
What appears barren from here may be yielding heavily up there.
What's rubbed raw may surprisingly fill in.

Farmer Husband digs his hands deep into pockets and grins. He's digging in for the long haul. "Looks like we won't give up on this field just yet."

Maybe that's all we all need.

Just a little time and space... and faith.

To let the miracle unfold.

Lord God... this despairing stretch that doesn't look like it can bear much good? What if I just gave You the time and space ... and faith... to yield the impossible?

Ah, a Mother's Day Treat for a Mother-to-be

Agh! So much on my mind right now.

First of all, what a wonderful mother's day. I have always loved celebrating my mom and more recently getting to include Rory's mom, too. Both of our moms went in this weekend and got Rory and I our dream stroller for Dia. I cried! But we also spent a lot of time laughing. When you think about it, it's pretty crazy that two home-school families who didn't know much other than Jesus, got together 16 years ago and just this weekend bought a stroller for their mutual granddaughter.

We've been sharing memories all weekend. I still remember the first time I met Rory. We were ten years old and his mom was hosting/teaching a home-school public speaking class. By God's clear direction, he brought my family to their house and the rest is history--literally. After the speech class, our families created a history co-op. They instilled so much Jesus in us so early on that not one project went by or one story read that they did not direct back to Him.

At 21, their two eldest children married. It was the single-most greatest day of my life. We recently watched the wedding video and laughed and cried.

And now, this Friday, we are celebrating 5 years of marriage with a little girl on the way. It brings such tears to my eyes! I know these past 5 years, not to mention the past 16, have been quite the ride for all of us. I know that a lot of the time, they thought we were crazy. And sometimes, we felt the same way about them! If the emotions of these past 5 years were to form a quilt, it would be more rich in color than anything our human eyes could fully appreciate.

As any of our friends know too well, we have not pretended even for a minute to have a perfect marriage. Just writing that makes me laugh! But it is so real and so genuine. It is so deep and so passionate. It so evidently our testimony and that is exactly what I want Dia to see in us--in her creation, is our testimony of the power of Jesus. There aren't words or time enough to fully explain all that has taken place over these past 5--and 16--years. But we think on it often. I think it's a big part of why we don't want to sell our home. It has been the setting for this powerful testimony.

There's the wall where I threw my Starbucks coffee at Rory (ah, yes, one of my finer moments). There's the floor where I sat and single-handedly cut up every single one of our wedding photos. There's the door that Rory punched a whole through. Oh yeah. It's been a rough ride.

There's the floor where we camped out our first night here--newlyweds with no possible way to undestand what we had just entered into.

There's the table where I bought Rory his favorite cereal and set up a mini-celebration for his first day at ASU. There's the kitchen where we dance together--a lot more now than before!

There's the wall where I scrubbed the coffee clean and the door that we patched up. Our home is such a physical representation of what we have been brought through.

For the past 3 years it has also been the setting for our Mother's Day brunch. What a joy it brings to my heart to have all of our sisters (and some boyfriends!), both of our dads and our two amazing mothers all at the same table. It is a testimony to the power of friendship, the bond of home-schooling and the love of Jesus. And yesterday, Rory surprised me with a seat of honor with two moms I am hardly worthy to sit with. And he had a letter (that I couldn't read out loud due to tears streaming, streaming down) and a jewelry set: a necklace, matching earrings and a beautiful vintage style right-hand ring--all in Dia's soon-to-be birthstone, Sapphire.

I have never owned such beautiful jewelry. And I have never been more at peace as Rory planned and prepared and hosted all of yesterday's festivities. I sat perfectly calm and perfectly honored as Rory set up everything just perfectly--from the table settings to the food to the cleaning. In years past I would be super nervous that he wouldn't know how to do things "just so." But he's been studying me and learning me and made yesterday better than I could have ever dreamed.

Thank you, Rory!

Thank you, Jesus!!!

Things I am Learning to Love About Pregnancy

Ok, well I have a perfect precious tiny sweet girl growing inside me. That is L-O-V-E that I can't even explain. But I'm learning to have a sense of humor with some of the other aspects. For instance:

1. If it's chilly out, I can warm up a room simply by walking around as my thighs create enough friction just brushing against themselves--at a campsite, I would probably require a license...

2. My knees, biceps (or lack thereof), bottom and everything else however have retained all fat that used to be more evenly distributed. When I run into something (as I often do without any balance), there's plenty of cushioning all over my figure to prevent any bruising.

3. I have a permanent shelf bra: my belly.

4. If anyone knows of a cat they'd like to have "put away," I have enough stretch marks that look as though a cat had attacked me to have anything with claws legally "put away."

5. My husband has never been more impressed with me: I can eat a veggie burrito, a bowl of "protein" cereal (Ezekiel brand), salad, a side of rice and beans and more and then be ready for dessert in about 5-10 minutes. He just sits back and stares in astonishment.

So basically it's a pretty sweet deal all around.

Fear, fear, fear, fear, fear, fear......

I'm turning it into a song (sung to the tune of a marching beat like The Ants Go Marching):

Fear, fear, fear, fear
Fear, fear, fear, fear

I am not proud, but it's become my mantra. I repeat it non-stop.

Fear, fear, fear, fear
Fear, fear, fear, fear

Ok, so I don't actually sing it. I have engaged more in living it. Yuck.

I write about all the things to fear and the reasons God calls us to be bold, and yet, last night I was terrified. I had a pain. It's in a very girly location so I won't offer TMI and describe it, but it scared me, so I googled it. I should know better by now, but I couldn't help it. The google results were anything less than comforting, so I cried myself to sleep and called the doctor in the morning.

She's a wonderful doctor/midwife. She asked me questions and took my concern seriously and then gave me very real reasons not to worry, but signs to watch for just in case.

I tell you this body is changing so much! When I first started to feel Dia move, I didn't know what it was! I immediately figured it was a ruptured placenta. See, the song had snuck in...

Fear, fear, fear, fear
Fear, fear, fear, fear

And to be honset, there ARE lots of things to be afraid of. I am watching my government change in scary ways. I got an email yesterday about parental rights and the threat the future may pose to home-schooling. Sometimes I figure that all Christians will be living more like the Jews in early Nazi Germany--marginalized into ghettos and slowly forced into concentration camps. I have had the actual thought that it doesn't matter how well Dia does in school because by the time she's old enough to go to college, we'll be wearing gold stars and on our way to the ghetto.

Fear, fear, fear, fear
Fear, fear, fear, fear

Last night, though, I was talking candidly to a wonderful woman whose miracle grandson was just born this last weekend. She said that when she was pregnant, she believed that the rapture would occur before her kids got old enough to go to college. But here we are, just fine.

She stopped me in my tracks. I've had that exact thought!

I think I found comfort in hearing her words. But then a few hours later, I googled. And the fear hit. My dear sweet kind loving best friend of the same name sent me texts of comfort and wisdom last night and I got a good night's sleep plus lots of reassuring belly kicks. Then this morning another dear sweet kind loving friend prayed words of power and faith over the phone. I wish I could live in the texts and that phone call. Actually, I think I am supposed to be living there--between the Word, the Holy Spirit and community.

I have learned a lot about the "tapes" that play in our head. From our nature and upbringing, our thoughts replay themselves over and over again in our head without any wisdom or discernment. They simply are. It's our job to learn to identify them and record over them. I am going to use my friends' words and the Holy Word to do just that.

Until "Fear, fear, fear, fear" becomes

Faith, faith, faith, faith.........

Do you know where it comes from? They do.

Rory and I are a little hyped-up. We are so stinking mad at the big corporations who are playing around with the very food we eat.

Some of the intentions are good. Certain companies have begun pursuing genetic modification of food in an attempt to stop world hunger. But, and I quote, "Hunger is not a technological problem." There is plenty of food--there's just a roadblock when it comes to distribution. Too many 3rd World governments will receive the money and aid and simply NOT DISTRIBUTE IT. To quote Mahatma Ghandi, "There is enough in the world for everyone's need. Just not for everyone's greed."

Other intentions are evil. Monsanto, a humongo chemical company, is currently buying up seeds. That's right--the US Supreme Court overruled the US Constitution to make it legal to buy, own and patent seeds (aka life)--"Whoever controls the seed, controls life." Monsanto, The Dow Chemical Company and Dupont (all major chemical companies) own about 85% of our seed/food supply. Monsanto has genetically modified their seeds to be "Roundup Ready"--meaning that the seeds contain the herbicide Roundup. Guess who owns Roundup? Monsanto. This "Roundup Ready" method is not to ease the cost of food, but increase the sale of Roundup. Scientific studies have shown that Roundup causes the first cellular growth of cancer. Monsanto, however, advertises Roundup as biodegradable and safe. They have a scary history of falsifying scientific information--including early findings on the toxic chemicals dioxin and pcb.

We are a little fired-up just thinking about this gross injustice. Food is critical for life.

Not to mention terrified what these kinds of modifications mean for our future.

There is hope, however. The only answer is to either grow your own food, or know your grower. The best and most convenient way I know to do this: farmer's markets. Unfortunately, greed still exists in farmer's markets, though, so be wary. Ask questions and get to know your grower. If it looks store bought, it very well could be. And chemical companies, like Monsanto, are working very hard to ensure that we never find out which items are GMO and which are not.

This summer, a new documentary will be hitting the theatres: Food, Inc. This film (although somewhat politically-driven.....and leaning heavily towards the Left) exposes one of our greatest threats: the future of our food. We don't know where our food comes from (unless you grow your own or shop farmer's markets) and wealthy companies are working hard to keep it that way. If things continue the way they are headed, soon all of our food will be owned and modified by companies like Monsanto.

So, shop your local farmer's market. If you can't afford organic today, there's a good chance you won't have any options left tomorrow. As a consumer, your dollar speaks volumes. Let these companies know where your support lies--with honest and decent growers!! As they say in the film, each time you run an item across the checkout, you are voting. "People have got to start demanding good, wholesome food. And I promise, we'll deliver." -Farmer quoted in the Food Inc. preview.

And, go see the film this June!

Here's the trailer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mf4ZmfjyEvI&feature=related