India Turned Two! (And other great memories from the last few months while I've been MIA)

"To be a mother is the greatest happiness."

I found this saying in a framed art piece in the clearance section of TJ Maxx. Dia was only months old and I just had to have it. It sits in my kitchen currently and I read it often. It is so true.

Our sweet bug turned two a few months back and, for better or worse, I consciously decided not to be behind the camera that day. I wanted to be very present in every moment of her special day--especially because as she ages, she is increasingly more aware of how special these days are. And I wanted nothing more than to share in it with her. And we had so much fun! However, we have so few pictures. I have learned to assign an official photographer so that this doesn't happen again! But for now, I'll have to tell the story with actual words and not just pixels.

We kept it small...but in our family, just blood-relatives make up over 25 people. So it was small-ish. And as with her first birthday, we asked for no presents. Which, as was also true of last year, was completely ignored. People love to give! And we were very blessed by their generosity. We did acquiesce, however, and allow immediate family to come early if they wanted to watch Dia open their gifts. It's hard to be principled sometimes--especially over something as harmless as birthday gifts for a two-year old! Still, though, I do dream of a day when we can all gather together to celebrate each other without spending so much money and focusing on "What'd ya get?!"

But what really counts is that Dia really enjoyed herself, our family was able to bless her with lots of fun things and everyone had fun.

This year we didn't invite any of Dia's friends from her playgroups. I think she was the only two-year old there! We had former neighbors with kids ranging from four to twelve-ish, family friends who were either younger or older and my cousin's daughter who is a year older than D. It felt like a real family party and the highlight for Dia was when two of the older girls got together and performed a dance routine (they had made it up and rehearsed it in the backyard) where at the end they shouted, "Happy birthday, Dia!" I filmed it and Dia has asked to watch it repeatedly! At one point in the party, most of the girls all laid together in the grass with their feet in the air and I could tell Dia felt special to be in the "group." Everyone is so sweet to her and she loves watching and imitating.

And I firmly believe that in the three months since that party, she has become a true preschooler. She is simply not a toddler anymore. We talk about things like attitude, making choices and the alphabet. She expresses emotions, desires and offers suggestions for doing things differently (e.g., tonight at bedtime, after we told her she couldn't sleep with the grape vine/stems that she had been clutching long after she had finished the grapes themselves because it could poke her while she slept, she thought for a minute and explained how she would hold them very low so that they wouldn't touch her face). She is inventive that's for sure!

The other day she had begun to get a rude attitude in the car. Granted, it was her naptime, but I still wanted to address it if for nothing else so that we could build it on another time when she was rested. I tried talking to her about her attitude and asked her if she knew what kind of attitude she had.

"Angry, " she answered. I was surprised she was so self-aware!
"That's right," I said, trying to keep up. "Why do you think you have an angry attitude?"
"My tired."

Ha! Well, folks, there you have it. 27 months old and as Rory puts it, she knows her own emotions better than he does!

My main focus for this brilliant time in her life is finding a balance of encouraging her independent spirit and strong will while still teaching her to use those gifts wisely. She has a strong will. There is no other way around it. To squash that will not create in her the gentle spirit the Lord desires for her. To "beat" it out of her will not raise a woman confident enough to follow Jesus from her core. And yet, to let her express herself without discernment will only leave her broken. This is hard! So very hard. And it's not because of her strong will--I would have the same problems if her nature was shy and reserved. Learning to hone our strengths while submitting them to the Lord's discipline so that we all might be edified is no easy task. I believe this is called life. Thankfully, the Lord meets me here regularly and I know He has prosperous plans for India!

I have been very blessed by Dr. Sears' books on child-rearing. They help give me a clue into why Dia does certain things. This has relieved so much frustration on my part! It's not an excuse for wrong behavior, but it does help me focus on her heart and attitude--the life blocks that will guide her long after I'm gone--instead of merely centering on the face-value of her behavior. I can tell, also, that she looks at me differently when I try to understand what she's wanting or intending instead of losing my temper over her own frustration. I like to think that it helps us build trust instead of lose it.

This brings me to so many other facets of being a mother: home-schooling and my personal experiences with children who grew up saying all the right things and then went on to a life far from Jesus and plagued with poor decision-making; my struggle to balance my needs with a life that ultimately is all about my children (and vice-versa); how I serve the Lord on a daily basis; and so much more. Really, to raise my daughters is to live. It serves to give me the glorious opportunity to focus in on what really matters--every day. What a life!

What a happiness!

Crafty India

In my humble opinion, I had a great idea the other day inspired by the sticker section at Target.

Dia and I were shopping for a friend's birthday gift when I decided to let Dia wrap it...with stickers. We were gifting her sweet Laila with a few books so I bought a simple box just big enough to hold them. I then selected as many cute, girly stickers as I could find: My Little Pony, Hello Kitty, metallic hearts, etc. Dia loved holding them in the cart and when it came time to wrap Laila's present, I set her up in her high chair with her stickers and some crayons and this girl turned a simple box into a shining beacon of artistic glory. (I know--I really should work on my parental pride.) No really, it did look great and it really looked like it was Dia's gift to her friend, something I really want to instill in her when we give gifts. Too often it's just me going to the store, picking it out, wrapping it up and then handing it to the child's mom at the party. Let me tell you, this time Dia took full ownership of this present. She talked about it non-stop.

"Mama, box for Laila. Happy tooo youuuuu. Laila books. Me do it. Me!"

She showed everyone in the house multiple times (we were staying at my parents' house) and when it came time to go the party, she ran right to where the box was and asked to hold it in the car. Then when we got there, she asked to hold it while we walked in. (Note to self: try to make the box light enough for the kids to carry! This one wasn't too bad, but I'll be more conscious next time.) To be honest, I was worried Dia wouldn't give it to Laila and would insist that it was hers (we love saying "Mys" around here--that's Dia-speak for "mine"). But instead this little 21-month old held the package the whole time we walked up to the house and while we looked for Laila. She then ever so proudly handed it over to Laila (who I think was slightly shocked to be asked to carry such a big box!). Both girls then proceeded to peel off several stickers and play with them--a gift in itself! I was so proud of her to be so generous and so excited to GIVE. Plus she just had a lot of fun decorating that box.

D with her finished creation

I think next time I'll go to the dollar store or order in bulk online just to save money. I'll also buy more puffy stickers because they are easier for her little hands to peel off herself. And that really was another bonus to this craft: Dia got to do just about all of it by herself. How many toddlers can say they wrapped their friend's present, you know? She was so proud of her work and that made me so proud of her. As a mom and as a home-schooling mom, I strive to instill that sense of accomplishment and capability in her. This tiny, fun little afternoon project did just that.

Happy Birthday, Laila!

And here's a video of D talking through her birthday present thoughts (I have no idea where she got the "no boys" concept but it cracked me up and she was still insisting no boys touch it while we were driving to the party!):