Kitcher Up

I hear a soft "moooooo" coming from our room as Rory puts D to sleep. They are animal sound experts these days. Nothing can soothe her like a quick, "D, what does a cat say?" Well, that and singing "Ba Ba Black Sheep." I HAVE to record these things for the blog because they are so fabulous. She sings "Ba ba ba ba" throughout the song and then nods her head for "Yes, sir, Yes, sir three bags full." She also does the hand motions for "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and then, this is hilarious, imitates the sounds while we sing the ABC's and pretends to wash her hands. That would be because I always sing the ABC's when I was my hands (which is ALL the time as a full-time mama)! It's a hygeine thing from when I used to be a server and Dia apparently really enjoys it, too! Say your ABC's, wash your hands. Why not?!

Discipline has also become a new way of life. Our sweet 13-month old turned to me in a store a few weeks back and said AND signed "NO" when I told her she couldn't run around the store. (To be fair, she did ask if she could---tee hee hee!) I was floored. The next day was spent in tears as I was certain our angel would be caught shoplifting in no time and then imprisoned by 15. Ok, so I can work on the drama on my part, but still, I was horrified! I have heard of the terrible two's, but I did not expect the indignant 13 months! I am often caught off-guard by her intelligence--she is quick. Thankfully, though, I am aware of this and after an afternoon of one time-out after another, this girl obeyed my voice at the first sound. This was fabulous. I found freedom as her mom because I didn't have to lose my cool--the choice was hers. Go into the breakables store (herb store full of teeny tiny fun colored glass tincture bottles), sit on your bottom. (I literally picked her up, took her away from the store and her friends who were out playing with us and sat her on her bottom, explaining my actions as I went. She got up, as to be expected, and I just sat her back down until she could sit there on her bottom for ten seconds. Then I'd smile and say, "Would you like to try again?" To which she would nod and grin emphatically. Seriously--13 MONTHS OLD.) Run away from mom passed the corner to which she specifically told you not, sit on your bottom. (Repeat previous scenario.) Now, a few weeks after the initial time-out, if she misbehaves I can simply turn to her and say "Sit on your bottom, Dia. Mama told you No and you didn't listen," and she will sit right down on her bottom. In fact, I've had to extend the length of the time-out to 20 seconds of solid bottom-sitting. If she gets up before 20 seconds, I start back at 1.

Now, people have given me bizzarre looks as I sit this sweet blonde baby of an angel down for a time-out. I'll admit, it looks kind of funny (read "crazy"). But she is smart. Smarter than her age and this simple action and consequence scenario has worked for us. It may even seem extreme to some parents (and non-parents alike), but I know that laying a foundation of boundaries with someone as fun-loving as my daughter will hopefully pave the way for our long-term, mutually respectful relationship.

I can't tell you how quickly I began to resent her when she misbehaved in that store that first time when she signed and told me "No." I really started to look at her differently and ask myself what happened to my baby. I started to fear what has happening to our loving relationship. After the first successful time-out, though, I ecstatically called Rory to brag about our "good listener." Setting clear boundaries for Dia (with clear consequences) completely freed me! And her! I do not have to raise my voice, lose my temper, lose control (the choice to obey is hers--it is not mine to make her obey), repeat myself or demand things of her she cannot deliver (i.e., angelic behavior at all times). It's been almost a month now, though, and I know that we will continue to have to stay one step ahead of her. (For example, the other day I was spraying her diaper off in the toilet when she got close and I could see her curiousity. She really wanted to touch the toilet but it was just too dirty for me, so I told her not to touch it. She held up her finger, thought about it, and then touched it. I smiled inside (I totally get it--sometimes you just gotta do it!) but then turned her and said, "Dia" and she sat on her bottom. Action, consequence.)

Anyway, we are growing quickly over here. She picks up new words and new signs every day (my sister always laughs outloud whenever Dia grunts and I tell her to use her words! But she knows them and they help us communicate so much). And loves loves loves people. We went to the park a few days back with a friend and Dia walked right over to a brother and sister we had never met. (They were about 3 and 4 years old.) She just sat right down in the sand with them and smiled and started playing! Only slightly hesitant, they eventually incorporated her into their play. More kids (older ones) joined eventually and at one point an older boy took her shovel. I didn't want to interfere (it seemed like as good a time as any to let her see that life isn't always fair) but even before I could if I had wanted to, my little baby poked him in the face! She scrunched up her face and let him know not to mess with her. He was easily three or four years older than her! I just that one play itself out in the sandbox.

We also have a few neighbor kids whom she adores. They also are older and ride scooters and play basketball like the awesome people they are and Dia just joins in either by watching or walking along with them or waving her hands around and clapping. This exquisite creation knows no shyness (wait til I post the video of her walking around the entire Sizzler waving and grinning at each table and at one point even pointing her finger at some guys as if to say, "Right back atcha' man!"), no fear (yes, I have a video of her bungee jumping off of her dad--you'll have to see it to get it), nothing she can't do. I just love that! It makes for some interesting disciplining (as exaplained above), but as my mom always says, "You're not raising a child. You're raising an adult. And the traits you'll love in her as an adult are the hardest as a child."

I wish I had pictures! I have them, but they are in said bedroom and my walking in could easily foil papa's get-to-sleep techniques. So this random catch-up will have to do.

As my friend closed out her blog recently,

"He threw himself at Jesus' feet and thanked Him" (Luke 17:16a) May we do the same."

In gratitude and peaceful contentment, Happy Thanksgiving, friends!