Milestones and a Sadness

Let me start with our super amazing celebration--Dia now owns her very own big girl panties! For the last day or so she has been solely using her potty chair for both number 1 and 2 so we thought a trip to buy panties was in order! She really wanted the Tinkerbell ones but they weren't in her size, so we ended up with a variety of Minnie Mouse, My Little Pony and a princess pack. She saw the Thomas the Train ones on the way out and got really excited about them, but they were only made for boys. She's pretty happy, though! And yes, I almost cried. But it is just so exciting--who can be sad?



Except for the news we recieved over the weekend. If you have known us for any length of time you know we have wonderful dogs--Roxy and Depot. We often joke that Roxy is more of a lioness than a pup and somehow possesses the widsom of Aslan and one day will open her snout and just spill out wisdom and love. Unfortunately, both of our dogs also like to race. Not just run, they race. They have been known to get out and literally race each other until their paws bleed. They always, especially Rox, return home within a few hours. Roxy is a rescue and we are confident in assuming that the man who owned her before did not treat her as she deserved as she is extremely skiddish and wouldn't even approach a doorway if a man were near it for at least the first year we had her. She also refuses to be rescued from her races. Whereas Depot will happily jump in with just about anyone who whistles for him, Roxy will hightail it the other direction.


When they got out in our new neighborhood, however, we knew there was no way they could find their way home. We put up signs, ads in craigslist (both under Pets and Lost and Found) and visited the pound and humane society. Everyday we prayed. Within a few days, some wonderful teenage girls from our new neighborhood called saying they had found Depot. When they brought him home (Dia shrieked, "Depot home! Depot home!") they also told us that they saw Roxy and had tried to bring her in, too, but she barked, growled and, of course, ran away. They continued after her and watched another man try to rescue her from the street but she nearly bit him.

On Friday, we receieved a call from a local animal hospital. Apparently, Roxy had been hit by a car and did not survive. Oh, I'm crying just writing this again! Roxy was our first baby. And like I said before, she really was a special dog. She used to jump on her back paws and gently lean into you to hug you. I am so sad to think that it's her fear that finally cost her her life. I so wish she had been treated better as a pup and would have gone with the people who tried to save her! I'm learning a lot from this sweet dog...and can't really talk about it. All Dia knows is that Roxy ran away. Death seems a little over the top to try to explain. Has anyone else had experience or wisdom to share in this?

In the midst of our sorrow, though, we do have a lot to be grateful for...and it IS Gratitude Monday. So even with a heavy heart, I count...

81. The more than five wonderful years we spent with Roxy-girl. We love and miss her so much.
82. The kindness of strangers in returning our Depot! Apparently he had his first cheeseburger and trip to the drive-thru.
83. The brilliance of growth...watching a not-long-ago newborn put on panties.
84. A husband who cooks! Dinner AND raw vegan chocolate pudding, ooh la la!
85. The unparalleled wisdom and encouragement found at the home-school convention (more to come soon!)
86. Wedding shoes just right for a little girl...the joy of having so much to pass on to my daughter.



87. The over-commercialized but so fun girly pictures that make panties feel extra special.
88. John Eldridge and this book that I almost gave up on.
89. Family runs--getting to know our new 'hood while still following this too-good-to-be-hard training schedule (taken v e r y slowly out of respect for baby #2)
90. Slow days at home...don't judge me by my housework--especially today!

Little Dia

Have you ever taken a picture of your child and just been tickled with their cuteness?

This definitely makes that list. We decided to take our bike to the splash pad near our house since we've been missing our fun bike rides in this intense heat. And of course, we needed our sunglasses, too.

My little Dia is two months away from being two and this ridiculous piece of trash e-newsletter I signed up for sent this dangerous little lie about how I need to sign up for some useless "Preschool" newsletter now because my daughter is no longer a toddler. Can you believe the kind of filth that comes out of the internet these days? My Dia is not only still a toddler, she's still MY BABY!

Right?

Oh man. Do they have some kind of control-freak parent support group for people like me? Parenthood is like nothing else. My mom always says it's the only job where you spend your life working yourself out of a job. It's strange...and beautiful.

And then we have days where I see a part of her that is just developing and I get so excited with the person she is becoming.

Which brings me back to the splash pad...We were meeting some friends there to play when I looked over and saw Dia literally surrounded by a group of about a dozen 6-year olds from day camp. They were all giggling and laughing watching my sweet girl. I looked closer and saw that she was screaming and making loud noises for the crowd as they laughed and egged her on. She ate it up!

By the time I got my camera phone out, the crowd had dwindled but Dia retained a small following until we left. I actually had to ask them to move so we could get out. As we rode off Dia waved and shouted, "Bye, guys!" The crowd chorused "Bye, Baby!"

How fun is that? My little entertainer. And I emphasize little. And I love those kids for calling her baby.

She Got It From Her Mama

Not the blonde hair. Not the blue eyes. Not the tendency to know just how everything should be and the fearlessness to share such facts with friends and strangers alike.

Nope.

She sleeps with her eyes open.

Like her mama! (Creepy, I know! But pretty cool as far as she and I are concerned, ha ha)

This picture is from her fully asleep during a nap. She was even snoring.

Just one more part of herself she can thank me for. (Wink, wink)

We're In!

As of last Saturday night, the Starks family is officially home! I can't tell you how great it is to be able to say that after two months of sojourning. More than anything, we have all three just missed the simple pleasure of being together as a family--sleeping all in the same bed, eating our meals together, etc. Dia woke up Sunday morning, lifted her head up to look left then right and exclaimed, "MY HOUSE!"

We are all so glad to be home.

There are still plenty of projects keeping us busy, not the least of which is unpacking. It's a bit slow going but we're making headway and have our kitchen fully functional. Praise the Lord! Such a joy to be in my own kitchen again. And it's fun learning the intricacies of a new place, too.

It could not be more appropriate than to continue counting my blessings from the Lord today on Gratitude Monday.

And, as you can probably imagine, this is just a sampling of the many, many things for which I have to be grateful.

67. The ease and tender rest of Dia's first nap at home (she asks to hold one of her books after we read them and falls asleep with it in her arms).

68. The beauty of everything small

69. Our first (messy) morning at home. Dia shrieked with joy, "MY TOYS!" And immediately set up camp on our bedroom floor.


70. Old things (toys) that feel both brand new and strangely comforting after months of being packed away


71. Precious morning hair and smile

72. The sheer brilliance of being close to every place we love! After seven years of living "out north" we are tickled beyond all comprehension to live in biking distance to our favorite shopping, restaurants and stores. So close that we were able to eat out our first morning at one of our favorite casual dining spots for breakfast. This is so great for us and the blessing of convenience is not wasted on us!
73. A little girl who is all her own and kept her shades on all through said breakfast.

74. Sweet and wonderful new neighbors.
75. Aunt Alli's first night as a server--at a restaurant that, you guessed it, is right down the street so that we were able to be one of her first tables. (Dia clapped her hands and yelled, "Yay, Alli!" after she greeted one of her tables, ha ha!)
76. Family that continues to give and give even after the excitement has waned and all that's left is more work.
77. A husband who provides! Who provides beyond my girlhood dreams. Thank You, Lord!
78. The excitement of all the potential that comes with a semi-fixer-upper.
79. The fun and novelty of taking swim breaks with my girl in our own pool.
80. The gift, pleasure and joy that comes from being a family.

It's A...

Ok. We have no idea. We won't know the sex of our sweet already amazing baby #2 for another six weeks.

BUT WE HEARD THE HEARTBEAT!

Oh, friends. A heartbeat. A steady swish, swishing of a new life. A whole new life. A life already to be preceded by a lovely sister. A life I don't know yet. A life we are just embarking on together as a family.

Big Sister ran into the doctor's office today, ecstatic. She's very familiar with the staff there as they have been her pediatricians since she was six months old. She ran in and told the receptionist, Sarah, "Baby heart in der!" and pointed to my tummy.

Oh, Big Sister. You already pave the way for so much excitement, so much fun, so much together.

But can I tell you a little secret? It was one very, very fast heartbeat. The three little digits rang 160. Can you say a girl?! I'm thinking a girl... Sisters!

But wait with me for another six weeks and I promise I'll let you know for sure. We are tickled over here. And yes, when the swishing started, I melted. And teared. And thanked such a Good Lord who would bless us so. TWICE. TWICE. It must be said more than once.

Especially thankful also for my exam buddy and the baby papa who was smart enough to take pics. Dia is simply wonderful to have around and I was so glad to share today with her.

Enjoying this special time of Dia as an only child and the excitement that comes from watching a tummy grow with life. Thanking our God whom we serve and pray to daily for all our needs.

A Little Experiment

How fun is this? Er, I mean the idea of this. Go to the grocery, buy a potato, watch as your grandmother shows you how to make it grow.

Or not.

"The EPA published findings in the report "Unfinished Business: A Comparative Assessment of Environmental Problems" that ranked pesticide residues in food as the number three cancer risk today." --The World Bank's Strategy for Reducing Poverty and Hunger: A Report to the Development Community

"Several government reports conclude that 60-90% of all types of cancer in the U.S. are related to environmental factors ranging from food preservatives and additives to toxic chemical substances." Douglas M. Costle, Former Director of the EPA

Pesticides and preservatives are so toxic. Organic isn't just a catchphrase or a catchy way to make extra money (although plenty of corporations are taking advantage of us and twisting organic to mean all kinds of things).

Did you know:

"The Delaney Amendment is found in Section 409 of the Federal Food, Drug and Cosmetic Act. It states:

No additive shall be deemed safe if it is found to induce cancer when ingested by man or animal.

Under this amendment, if an additive is deemed unsafe, it cannot be legally used. {HOWEVER,} Pesticides and agrochemicals that ARE KNOWN CARCINOGENS that were approved prior to (this) amendment continue to be used without discretion." --The World Bank's Strategy for Reducing Poverty and Hunger: A Report to the Development Community

And it's not just that these chemicals are known carcinogens (as if that wasn't bad enough), but it's also that organic food has actually been found to be more nutritious, more rich in vitamins and minerals. Considering that minerals and vitamins are derived from soil, it's really no surprise that not adding chemicals to the soil is better than adding them. But still, for some who need the science to prove it, it's here. And here. And here.

We simply can't trust our food suppliers like we used to. Unless you know them personally (ahem, farmer's markets make this possible...) or grow the food yourself, we just can't know what exactly was done to our food. If the EPA is willing to admit that 60-90% of all types of cancer comes from food preservatives and toxins, it's worth our attention.

*Emphasis in quotes are mine and they are taken from Living Cuisine: The Art and Spirit of Raw Food by Renee Loux Underkoffler

It's so hard as a family to eat what's not only healthy, but truly safe. (And no, Laffy Taffy is not organic and yes, it is full of poison! I'm so sorry, Baby!)

So...here's my little experiment and I'd like your feedback. I'm thinking of posting our family grocery budget for the month of August and letting you all see what exactly we buy, cook and eat. And how we can make eating organic not only possible, but also enjoyable.

Now, this all depends on us moving home before August (please pray!). What do you think? Would you find it helpful? We're just a family of three, but it might be helpful for all of us to share how we manage to eat healthy, safely and well.

Leave me a comment if you'd be interested.

But don't think today is just about bumming you out! Oh, no. There are still plenty of things for which to be grateful! Such as...

52. Being able to cook for my family in my childhood home. It's fun to cook for 7!
53. Watching my girl enjoy the special "play area" my parents had custom-designed in their pool for their grandkids. (It's like an oversized step that takes up a decent amount of space so that Dia can crawl and walk and wade around on her own...with my constant supervision!)
54. Watching Rory enjoy her enjoying the pool.
55. Being pregnant.
56. Being pregnant with a toddler. I feel like such a mom!
57. Finally building friendships at my new Stroller Strides class--it was actually pretty emotional for me having to leave my other class up north. But today we met friends at the library.
58. Free (and air-conditioned) story time at the library!
59. Watching my tiny but tough little 21-month old hold her own with the big kids in the mall play area. She is not rough, but she does not get pushed around, either!
60. Really enjoying reading with Dia. She is so into it it's contagious!
61. Naptime. Yes, I actually sleep every afternoon with Dia. So. Tired. Must. Rest.
62. Dia and her towers. "Mama, puh-lay! Towers!"
63. Late-night episodes of Castle with my love. We're all about Beckett and Castle.
64. Lizards that run right past the big french doors inciting gleeful shouts.
65. Hair detangler. And the picture of the "big girl" on the front which is all we need in order to be able to use it.
66. Church as a family and being able to hold my little girl while dancing and worshiping with a new one inside. What a privilege.
67. Devotions, e-devotions, devotion apps and all the ways He can encourage me even as I cook and clean and live.

So very blessed...

"Killer" Muffins

*Discaimer: these muffins will not kill you. Rather, they are delicious, gluten-free, high in plant protein and completely free of artificial sweeteners/white sugar--my definition of a killer combo.

I have to direct your attention over to this blog post today, because Erika posted the absolute best gluten-/dairy-/sugar- free muffin recipe. Like, the BEST. EVER. We're in love and Dia ate three in a row as soon as I made them. In fact, I made a dozen two days in a row because they don't seem to last more than a day.


They are easy and only required me to buy one ingredient I was unfamiliar with: quinoa flakes. I'll be honest with you. I do not like quinoa. Neither does Dia. But it's just SO SO good for you. This recipe completely masked the quinoa flavor while still keeping its high nutrition and protein content.

I followed her recipe to a tee save for a few points:

1. I used only honey and left out the stevia. I upped the honey to three (3) tablespoons instead of the two she recommends.
2. 400 degrees had my muffins nearly burnt by thirteen minutes, so I adjusted it the second time to 375 degrees and they were prefect at thirteen minutes (I was using my mom's super fabulous new fancy oven so it's taken some getting used to).

Dia likes to sit "outside" while enjoying her muffins...

Saying "cheese" with her muffins out on the veranda....

Happy Weekend! (These muffins make for great snacks while out and about or even a great simple breakfast on busy church-readying Sundays--I hope you get a chance to try them out soon!)

Crafty India

In my humble opinion, I had a great idea the other day inspired by the sticker section at Target.

Dia and I were shopping for a friend's birthday gift when I decided to let Dia wrap it...with stickers. We were gifting her sweet Laila with a few books so I bought a simple box just big enough to hold them. I then selected as many cute, girly stickers as I could find: My Little Pony, Hello Kitty, metallic hearts, etc. Dia loved holding them in the cart and when it came time to wrap Laila's present, I set her up in her high chair with her stickers and some crayons and this girl turned a simple box into a shining beacon of artistic glory. (I know--I really should work on my parental pride.) No really, it did look great and it really looked like it was Dia's gift to her friend, something I really want to instill in her when we give gifts. Too often it's just me going to the store, picking it out, wrapping it up and then handing it to the child's mom at the party. Let me tell you, this time Dia took full ownership of this present. She talked about it non-stop.

"Mama, box for Laila. Happy tooo youuuuu. Laila books. Me do it. Me!"

She showed everyone in the house multiple times (we were staying at my parents' house) and when it came time to go the party, she ran right to where the box was and asked to hold it in the car. Then when we got there, she asked to hold it while we walked in. (Note to self: try to make the box light enough for the kids to carry! This one wasn't too bad, but I'll be more conscious next time.) To be honest, I was worried Dia wouldn't give it to Laila and would insist that it was hers (we love saying "Mys" around here--that's Dia-speak for "mine"). But instead this little 21-month old held the package the whole time we walked up to the house and while we looked for Laila. She then ever so proudly handed it over to Laila (who I think was slightly shocked to be asked to carry such a big box!). Both girls then proceeded to peel off several stickers and play with them--a gift in itself! I was so proud of her to be so generous and so excited to GIVE. Plus she just had a lot of fun decorating that box.

D with her finished creation

I think next time I'll go to the dollar store or order in bulk online just to save money. I'll also buy more puffy stickers because they are easier for her little hands to peel off herself. And that really was another bonus to this craft: Dia got to do just about all of it by herself. How many toddlers can say they wrapped their friend's present, you know? She was so proud of her work and that made me so proud of her. As a mom and as a home-schooling mom, I strive to instill that sense of accomplishment and capability in her. This tiny, fun little afternoon project did just that.

Happy Birthday, Laila!

And here's a video of D talking through her birthday present thoughts (I have no idea where she got the "no boys" concept but it cracked me up and she was still insisting no boys touch it while we were driving to the party!):

A Few Firsts on the Fourth

We still aren't in our new home yet. So close. Everything is done, furniture is in, but fumes are deathly. We had planned on hosting our first pool party on the fourth...I even bought D a special Independence Day shirt that I packed thinking there was no way we would not be in our house by July 4th.

But we are still making the most of our family time! Dia has bonded in special ways with both sides of her grandparents (and their dogs) and her aunts. We wouldn't have been able to fabricate this ourselves--only the Lord could have planned such a special (semi-stressful, almost too much to handle...but also a blessing in many ways) extended family bonding time.

The fourth of July was especially great because one of Dia's favorite things in the world is FIREWORKS. "Fie-uh-wuhks!" (She also loves motorcycles...I think she has a flair for the exciting.) Rory celebrated the day they legalized the sale of them in Phoenix and took Dia for a special trip to the fie-uh-wuhks stand on Monday. He even let her pick out most of them! (And truth be told, the ones she picked were the biggest crowd pleasers.)

She waited patiently (asking regularly) until the sun set. I was happy to distract her with her first ice cream cone!

Chocolate, anyone?

Ice cream cones are a big deal to me. I have always said my favorite food is two ice cream cones--one for each hand. We bought special gluten-free cones from Whole Foods and used delicious chocolate ice cream made from coconut milk and sweetened with agave. What a blessing to be able to go to the store to get such high-quality sweets I don't worry about her eating!

You can see my joy in sharing a new love with D:

Like mother like daughter--she likes her ice cream cones!

I can't tell you how grateful I am to have such wonderful family and to be able to take such advantage of them. Really they have done so much for us. And not just one side, but both sides give and give until you can't imagine they have anything left to give. And then they help and share and give some more. And how special to have a holiday, a Monday to start the week with us all waking up together and then watching the special colorful explosions and singing patriotic ballads before bed.

Thankful for sacrifice today...those who sacrifice for a safe, democratic country...my parents and in-laws who sacrifice for our comfort and well-being...my husband who sacrifices for his family's future...my Lord who is the example of all sacrifice.



Happy Birthday, America!

Pregnancy...This Time Around

I'm thrilled to announce that I'm twelve weeks pregnant today. Tomorrow begins my second trimester. Time has flown and honestly, I'm just so thrilled to be this far along.

When my first pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage in the first trimester (before week 12, but after we had already heard the heartbeat), I left somewhat emotionally scarred. When I found myself pregnant a second time (with India) , I kept waiting for the bleeding and cramping to start. When it never did (Thank You, Lord!), I felt too frightened to do anything. No exercise, no hair dye, no pool swimming (chlorine), etc. I also never ate sugar or anything conventionally grown. Seriously, organic or bust.

<-- About to pop with my Dia girl...

This time around...well, remember how I said I hadn't sugar in at least five years? I've made up for that in the last few weeks. Honest to goodness, the only edible thing I can stomach is...Laffy Taffy.

What??? Oh I know. I gross myself out. My head wants salad. My brain dreams of greens! Fresh veggies! Vegetable juice from my own juicer! Ah...someday. But for now I will literally throw up just the vegetables in whatever I eat. Brown rice with cooked cabbage? I'll be re-living that cabbage (and just the cabbage, mind you, the rice stays put) in a few hours and suffering from a stomachache for two days minimum. Slightly ridiculous, I think.

When I was pregnant with India, I followed my midwife's and the Bradley Method's high protein diet to a tee. I took it literally and would sit up til midnight if that's what it took to get all 80-100 grams of protein in. Think that contributed to my excess weight gain? Ha!

And here I am eating just about everything I hate about the standard American diet (SAD). Strange sense of justice? Karma for my high standards? Nah. I think it's just that subtle reminder that once again, by the grace and miracle of the Lord, my body is not currently my own.

This second time around I'm also exercising. Not just to keep my weight in check, but it's honestly just so good for you. Plus the doctors/midwives recommend keeping current with your pre-pregnancy activity level. So while I'm temporarily abandoning my half-marathon training, I am still running and attending Stroller Strides. And tomorrow, I'm getting my hair done. (Mind you, I won't color my hair with any dye on my scalp. I use highlights that, for the most part, don't touch skin or scalp in an effort to minimize the toxins my body absorbs.)

If this time is anything like last, hopefully the junk food will abate by trimester two. I scarfed taco supremes from Taco Bell like it was the last food on earth with Dia but just through the first trimester. This baby is all about the candy, though. It's definitely Rory's child.

I have no more sense of control or idea of just who exactly is about to join our family this time around than I did with India, but I do know that I'm in love just like I did with my first girl. I'm smitten. I'm thrilled. Tremendously honored to have not just one miracle, but two. TWO! If anything, I'm doubly humbled, doubly impressed with the grave responsibility before me. I spend an unnatural amount of time scheming up unique baby names (can't wait to find out the sex!), planning the nursery and playroom and just generally trying to imagine the next summer with two kids. Two. I do not know what tomorrow holds, but Lord, I am so grateful for today. Today--the chance to be here with my daughter and husband, to be pregnant again, to play dollhouse, build towers and feed my girl. I love being pregnant.

I just pray the Laffy Taffy doesn't screw the baby up too much.