The Big Guilt Just Set In--On my thighs, tush, under-side of my arms, etc.

I am a little out of the ordinary. I am what is called a raw foodist. I eat only raw fruits and vegetables.

But today I am finding myself a little more normal. I ate breakfast from McDonald's. In my car, no less.

It's true.

This whole week my husband and I have been frighteningly close to divorce and/or killing each other. And so this morning all I could think about was the Super Size king of fast food.

So I did it. I drove around trying to find a Micky-Dee's near my office and the sight of the golden arches from about a mile down the road actually brought me glee. I was freakin' thrilled.

As I pulled in, my Toyota Camry drove itself right up and threw the drive-thru. (I think it was in ecstatic disbelief just to be in the parking lot.)

The worst part is that I downed that sandwich before I even hit the traffic light at the corner.

And now, my pants don't fit. Ok, that's not true. But it's one thing to get the lunch you want and eat it, whatever that may be. It's an entirely different story to be eating out of emotional compulsion. In all my life I never really experienced shame from eating.

Today, though, as I licked the crumbs from the wrapper, guilt set in.

Who knows what I'll be eating in the future, but I will be sure from now on to eat only what I want, when I want it. I don't eat raw to "be good" or because it's the "right thing to do." I eat raw because I like it. I like preparing food that way and I like the quality of life. If I am going to eat fast food, then I want it to be for the same general reasons--because I want to!

That way if my tush does get larger, it will be from all the hydrogenated oils--but not guilt.