A Day in the Life

Is it weird that I actually always dreamed my days would be like this?

I am the kind of girl who stays in the lines, always listens to the teacher and when advice is offered, I usually take. I remember when I was still pretty young (6th grade?), they came out and said that too much salt and butter is bad for you. I then and there made a conscious decision to avoid salt and butter (you know, because my eleven year old arteries couldn't take much more....lol). And it stuck. I began to change my tastebuds and within no time, I began to prefer my bread dry and my meals seasoned with pepper and lemon instead of salt. I was a determined little booger and have always been committed to doing what I believe is best.

So when I was growing up and began to hear older moms advise younger ones to savor the moments and put work last, kids first, I stored that in my heart. And now I am getting the chance to embrace it. And let me tell you, it is wise to do so. Oh so wise.

Maybe part of it is due to my generous husband whose only expectation he has placed on me in the last few weeks is to hold and nurse our baby. He brings me a freedom I don't think I can describe....

I, however, somehow managed to put pressure on myself. I gave myself a week after Dia was born to rest and soak her in and then felt tremendous pressure to keep the house spotless and dinner delicious. I didn't actually DO any of those things, mind you, I just felt the pressure. But day after day, when Rory would come home to a messy messy messy house and the only thing cooking was my idea for dinner, he wasn't bothered in the least. This surprised me and I doubted it would last.

But alas, turns out he has been listening to the sages of old as well and we are both committed to simply enjoying her. Just being with her. Watching her. Listening to her. Learning her. And amazingly, in a matter of no time, she is already sleeping in the mei tei wrap to which I have found myself with plenty of time to cook and clean. In fact, dinner's been on the table just about every night the last week or two. And while the floors could still use a good vacuuming, the house has not given itself over to dust and bugs. It's actually pretty clean.

She's growing up already. I know it sounds trite and probably a little obsessive, but it's true. I look at my parents and their children have left adults in their places leaving my parents free of just about any daily responsibility. That happened fast! I was there for the whole thing, trust me, I know. I remember reading a poem, I'm sure you've all read it, about how we will not remember if the kitchen was clean and laundry done, but the time and love we invest. And in my own way, I am getting to live that out. And I love it. I don't have too much company, lol, but I love it.

I believe it is about balance in so many ways--but not balancing clean time with family time. I am looking at the bigger picture--balancing these little one's young years with our old years. Looking at life as more than just today, more than just this week. I keep hearing it--don't blink, it will all be over so soon. I really believe that. So for today, I'll probably fold laundry (her diapers are sitting in a pile on the table) and I will most likely throw together a quick (but healthy) dinner...potatoes and a big green salad? But I would be evil to boast of tomorrow...so my only real goal is to hold her...and nurse her....and enjoy her. She's only 5 weeks and 4 days once, you know. ;)