When Mothering Is Your Profession

Can I share my thought for today with you?

Some background: I have to admit that I almost instantly felt that my bond with my sisters had changed when Dia was born. It didn't weaken or wane, it just changed. Something about being a mother and nursing your daughter and worrying about nap times and diaper changes kind of pulled me out of the clothes-conscious, no-time-constraint life that singleness brings. I think it's a normal part of being the oldest child. You do things first and often go a while without empathy or understanding from your younger siblings.

I sought out other young moms like me, though, and found that spending time with like-minded and like-living people helped me feel "normal" again. No one even gave you a second glance if you had banana on your clothes and hadn't showered for a few days. We all exchanged stories about sleep deprivation and our hopes and fears for our little ones.

But every now and then I have step out of my circle and enter the real world. Like today, for instance. Today Dia and I went to visit my aunt and uncle. They own a production company downtown (I used to love being an extra as a kid for their various projects!) and we had planned on grabbing lunch together. They are one of the most fun couples I know and really some of the only extended family I have in town that I am close with.

Hanging around their production studio after lunch, though, I found myself in a room of creative professionals. And realized...they are all my age (give or take five years). I even asked my aunt who the young guy was and she said, "An intern." He looked so young to me! And here I thought I was still closer to the intern age than the professional age. I guess a part of me has always held on to that security blanket of choosing the "modern women's route," but I always thought I had time to make that decision still. You know, when I am older. But seeing all of them in that room really impacted me: to get ahead later, you have to be working now.

And what's more, as Dia played with various objects around the room and delighted the crowd I overheard some of these young professionals dissect my lifestyle.

"Think you'll have kids?"
"What and clean poop up?"
Laughing and chuckling.
"I don't know...dogs are a lot easier."
"No, you have to clean their poop, too."
"And even wipe their *bottoms* (my word choice there)!"
"I can't imagine having kids."
"She's so cute, though!"
"What's her name again," this one was direct my way and I told them her name.
"Oh! So sweet."
More laughter.
"I can't ever see myself with kids."

Admittedly, they were a funny bunch! But it was the first time that I really saw the line in the sand so to speak. The professional world on one side, being Dia's mommy and the life of a stay at home mom on the other.

I want to stop here and make crystal clear that there was not one moment of hesitation for me regarding which side of that line I stand on: I am a stay at home and proud of it! It's only the reality of my choice that hit me today...and the reality that I am choosing where to spend this critical time of my life. While I am not getting any younger as far as my professional career goes (I worked as a freelance writer among other things before having Dia), neither are they. I can't imagine putting off the joy of motherhood for a life inside an office (not that that's what they're doing, they have fabulous jobs and are extremely talented, but to me, that's what I would have felt like).

Life is a funny thing and, as you may have noticed, there is no instruction manual. Even the Bible won't spell out every choice you should make. Stephanie 1:3 "And thou shalt become a mother and devote every last breath to the joy and edification of your family." Ha! But it is clear that He will speak to you and tell you which way to turn, whether to the left or to the right. I have heard and I know I have obeyed. And it has led me right to my heart: to Dia and our family.

And now I know it's a choice I am glad I am making...even though I am older than the intern.