I didn't want to do it....

I have that old love tune stuck in my head, "You made me love you...I didn't want to do it...."

I came home this morning and ready to veg out. But I felt a tug to pick up the Bible instead.

"Oh, I already did my reading today," was my self-congratulatory weasel of a reply. But I couldn't NOT do it. It wasn't an act of will or conscience. I could not refuse it.

So I picked it up and let it fall open. It fell to the last page of 2 Samuel--it only took up half a page in the Bible.

"Ok, quick reading," I conferred, doubting any strong role it could hold for my life.

This guy whose name is only letter from Glad (Gad, King David's seer) tells David to build an altar, so the obedient king follows the command to a tee.

"Ah, yes. So holy, good King David. Altar. Good. Nice."

The nice man offers the land King David wants to him for free.

"Oh so sweet. David was such a good king--everyone loved him."

Then I read the following:

"No, but I will surely buy it (the land David wanted to build his altar on) from you for a price, for I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God which cost me nothing."

"Which cost me nothing...." It rung in my head over and over. David wasn't being a good obedient king. He was being a man after God's own heart. The sacrifice had nothing to do with the sacrifice--it was for his own heart to be affected. For his own sin to COST HIM. He wouldn't take the gift because he wants this sacrifice to mean something--to cost him. For David, this altar is not just an act. It's a movement from his heart. He's aware that the altar has nothing to do with the land itself, but the condition of his heart. And for this wealthy king, he made sure that this sacrifice cost him.

"Ah...I think there may be something here for me...."

Curious, I flipped to the previous page and started reading the beginning of the last chapter of 2 Samuel. It is titled, "The Census and Plague." Clearly, this sacrifice had an interesting origin.

Here's how the chapter begins, "Now again the anger of the Lord burned against Israel and it incited David against them to say, "Go number Israel and Judah."

He he he. I love it--the word AGAIN. God was mad yet again at His chosen people. Again, the fury of our God rose against the people.

I recently learned from a doctor of Hebrew that Godly anger, loves the person and hates the sin. Sinful anger hates the person and embraces the sin.

So I can read it not that God turned His back on the people (clearly or else the Bible would have ended there) or decided that He hated them. No. He loved them, hated their sin. And David knew that this sin would have to cost him in order to learn from it--all the while never doubting God's love for him.

Oh to be like David!

But what this besetting sin that brought about the anger? It doesn't say. It does say, though, that David was incited (the commentary says by Satan--I am in such good company!!) to number his warriors. David wanted to keep tabs on his people. He wanted to count his men so he could ensure his safety and success. Ah, confidence in the logistics, not the Lord.

Turns out I am more like David than I'd like.

Even David's commander questions this census. It doesn't make much sense. But David is determined and makes them work for the next 9 months counting everyone. When he is given the final tally, he is broken, realizing that he has been wrong.

This is so me. Rory and I own our own business. Too often we have counted our list, done the math. It's not wrong. But then we let it rule us. It becomes all about the numbers. And if they vary or shift, well, then we panic. A lot like David.

The rest of the chapter is rife with real-life lessons. The biggest one is to read the Bible whenever I am prompted. Trust that small, still voice....