Saturday, January 31, 2009

Never/Sometimes/Often/Always

How do you know that God is good?

I think for a sad number of us, we know that God is good because He answers our prayers. I have noticed a trend (and not necessarily just a current trend) to our use of the phrase, "God is good!" Aside from worship songs and scriptural quotes, it tends to follow phrases like:

My sister bought a new house!
I got the job promotion!
We got a great deal on a wedding cake!
My favorite movie was available for rent!

soooo.....

God must be good!

When times trouble us, though, we begin searching for God.

My aunt past away unexpectedly--she was only 43.
We lost our house to foreclosure.
My identity was stolen.
We had a miscarriage.
My spouse cheated on me.
I lost my job.

During these times, our rallying cry of a good God is replaced with questions. I am no masochist and wouldn't expect anyone to necessarily celebrate the latter situations. But I do wonder how we each individually (and collectively as a body) define God's goodness. I am scared that it might be based on our earthly sense of security. If our world is shaken, then we must begin to find God. If things go our way, then God must be in control.

I am sure most of us realize what kind of logical mishap we enter into the moment we begin to depend on our own understanding to define anything about God much less God's goodness. If we (or better yet our circumstances) can define it, then we haven't got a God at all. Then we've only got a god. And all religions have gods--even atheists.

I have had to come to terms with this a lot. My earthly sense of security gets shaken up more often than most people. Or at least, that's how it feels to me sometimes! But I had to come terms with God's identity most notably when we had a miscarriage about a year and a half ago. I refrained from even using the term "miscarriage" for a long time. A miscarriage seemed so technical--we really felt that we lost our baby.

We watched as other people carried their little ones to term and delivered healthy, happy newborns. We watched unmarried women, emotionally divorced couples, financially bankrupt couples, nearly divorced couples and others and began to wonder why. Why them? Why not us? When we found out we were pregnant, we cried (and welcomed from others),

God is good!

When we lost our baby, people were deafeningly silent.

Was God no longer good? How could we be so fickle? God did not change! Only my circumstances. And as we sought Him out (and even more so as we look back), we realize that His timing was perfect. That situation was perfect! Gut-wrenchingly painful, yes. But still good!! God is/was/will always be good!

I smile now when people ask if we have children and openly talk about the wonders that took place when we had our miscarriage. It was a beautiful time! It sounds strange to write that, but when you know the God I know, what could He bring to me that would not be good?!

I am so touched by the sensitive hearts that cry "God is good!" when their kids win the softball tournament and they get the close parking spot. That's beautiful! But how many of us can look at the disappointments, the confusion, the "bad" things and say the same?

I remember reading about Aslan in C.S. Lewis' The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. Aslan is the Christ figure in the story and one of the girls, curious about this powerful creature, asks if he is safe.

“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver. “Don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”

That's the kind of God I serve. He isn't a safe God, He isn't a pretty God. He is all-powerful and He loves me. And He is very, very good.

5 comments:

stephanie moors said...

YES! i love that part of the lion the witch and the wardrobe! It is one of the most moving things ever written.
also, i can see this whole message so etched into your life. God is good no matter what the circumstances. because we are bff ae ae ae ae's i can honestly say that God is teaching you something amazing and deep and beautiful right now. embrace it! i love you so much!

Stephanie said...

exactly! and i love you more.

Anonymous said...

Your heart for Him is beautiful.

For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His.
II Chronicles 16:9

Stephanie said...

Cheryl!!! Now I know who you are. I mean, it's only been over 5 years of intense marital struggling together--how could I NOT know?! :)

Thanks for the kind words and encouragement. I am glad you stumbled upon my blog again! :)

The Barrett Family said...

I, too, love that quote from the book and remember it almost every day.

My other fav is Job's incredible revelation: "Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him" (Job 13:15)

No matter what, my heart's cry is echoed in Peter's statement, "Lord, to whom would we go? You alone have the words that give eternal life." (John 6:68) Stephanie, let's face it - we're ruined. ;-)

Walking through this experience has given you the right to speak bravely into painful places in the lives of others the truth that God IS good. You can speak it from a place of true understanding, not some T-shirt cliche. What a blessing.