New Favorite Flicks

Hands down my favorite dvd of all time is our babe's ultra-sound dvd. She is famous in our house! And too many aunties and tantes have already seen it twice! Rory likes to just put it in and have it playing it in the background. We just can't get enough of her!! I have started journaling to her just because I have so much I want to say/teach/express. It has made me realize why the Bible is so big.

Tonight we watched "Gentle Birth Choices." It was filmed in the '90's (as every outfit and hair-do will attest!) but it has evoked quite an emotional response from me and Rory. Well, to be honest, I cry now every time I see a birth. (Which by the way, you can watch at www.babycenter.com. I am semi-addicted!)

Part of my emotional response is in realizing that I will actually birth this baby. With the miscarriage before and all that can go "wrong," it is easy to live in fear. I think a lot of birthing choices are made in fear (which the film only somewhat alludes to). But the Lord is so clear that He isn't present in fear.

I was reading through Matthew and something interesting caught my eye. It was the part about a hand or eye causing you to sin. We all know the symbolism (or literalness depending on viewpoint...) of removing sin-causing body parts. But this is what caught my eye:

"If your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire."

It's the phrase "enter life" that I can't get out of my head. I wish I knew more about the Greek words used in this verse, but taking it at face value, time on earth doesn't equal life.

What equates life, medically speaking? Breath. If you stop breathing, you are no longer alive. The Greek words for breath and spirit just happen to be the same word. But our spirit doesn't stop! I am convinced that the moment of conception is a spiritual matter. Life = spirit.

So this "life" spoken of in Matthew is a spiritual thing, it's heaven. It's a spiritual world. Once the Holy Spirit enters us this life begins. So whether my baby enters the earth or not, she is alive. Her spirit has been conceived and that is why she breathes.

So what is there to fear? First of all, she is not mine. He is her Great Shepherd and Father. Secondly, I can not impart the spirit. While I might give birth, I do not make life. Basically, I am processing out my faith. My faith that this is God's plan, God's day and God's daughter.

My only prayer is to grow closer to Him and glorify Him alone through it all.