Chill

I know I'm intense.

Alright, I don't fully know it, but I am becoming more aware of it. I think it's funny actually. Because, here am I, totally in the moment and yet grounded. Thinking of what I have heard, learned, ought to do, should do, I am rarely "chill," as I have heard people unlike me described.

And yet, what does the perfectionist, literalist think of a description she can't fit?

"Red alert, red alert! We may not have this component covered--Code red, code red! We have detected a malfunction!" (hear: sirens, see: red flashing lights)

Lol!

Oh, yes, so now the intense person will calculate, analyze and formulate a persona that someone might call, "chill." Uh, huh. Good luck!

Ok, actually I can manipulate my identity enough to give an aura of chill to the untrained eye--think perfectionist, people-pleaser. But that's not who I am--more importantly, it's not part of my make-up.

Truth be told, I rarely respect chill people. I enjoy them; they're easy to be around. But I am simply not wired to be motivated by calm; I am motivated by truth, the desire to know ultimate truth and live it out. I am literal, and I am intense. But I do find what I seek.

I am sure I chill out sometimes, though. Like when I'm asleep.