Sleepless in the Starks Home

Today was our ultra-sound. Dun dun dun!!

For days we've been on pins and needles anticipating all the news that would come with the first image of our baby. As we're doing this naturally and with a midwife, we've planned on only doing one ultra-sound. So this was a big day!

So big that I found myself completely wired at 2am this morning....totally unable to fall into any semblance of sleep. I eventually lay in bed where I tossed and turned and barely got an hour of rest. I got up on adrenaline and have been running on it ever since.

Of course the ultra-sound tech was late. Our midwife referred us to Sound Wave, a local ultra-sound tech company that comes to your home. We had to borrow a TV set from Rory's parents--since we still don't own one of our own--so that we could watch our little life wiggle around in my tummy in the comfort of our living room. (By the way, I was shocked at how repulsed I was at a TV set sitting in my living room. I couldn't bring myself to leave our bedroom until Rory covered it with a sheet! It was of course worth every second of its existence just for the moments we had with our baby bouncing around on screen. Suddenly the repulsive black box transformed into the golden carriage of our baby's image. I wouldn't have done it any other way.)

I felt like a 4-year-old waiting for Santa Clause! I practically paced around the house until he showed up around 2:30. He was a wonderfully amiable guy who Rory got quite a kick out of. He was very calm and reassuring and made lots of funny jokes that we have recorded on the ultra-sound dvd.

Every time he measured a part of this wonder body inside me, he would pause and say, "Which means...." and I would finish, "It's perfect!" Perfect skull, perfect heart, perfect arms, long skinny legs, a perfect spine and big ears! Lol.

And then he announced, "You're the proud new owners of a brand new 2009 baby girl!"

At the first sight of her with all of her limbs and spine and organs, I cried. She was healthy! As he continued to measure and pronounce her perfect, every anxiety within melted. When he told us she was a she, I broke down, surprising myself at how much I wanted a little girl.

I was certain from the start that we were having a boy. I loved him and already knew he was handsome. But when I saw her and knew her to be her, everything changed. My heart melted and I felt like I was meeting my best friend for the first time.

We're having a girl. And she's perfect!

Thank you, Jesus, for You heard the cry of this mother's heart. You recieved my fears and held me still, strong. Thank you for our sweet, sweet gorgeous baby. She is yours from the beginning. Lead us in our every move of raising her on earth, closer and nearer to You every minute, every day. Hold her as she grows inside. Strengthen her for the world You have prepared for her. May Love fill her inside out. And give me wisdom beyond all understanding and knowledge as I nurture her within me and bring her into the world, Your world. Prepare her father in ways he can't understand as he takes on the responsibility of her heart and her spirit in the light of Your work in his life. Only by the power of Your Spirit and Your Name, according to Your Will. Amen.