Inspiration

As I wrote a little earlier, I am finding my way as a mom more and more these days. Since I plan to home-school, some people ask me when I'll start.

Start? Start what?

Start educating my daughter? Isn't that what I did when we read books this morning? Or took a walk to pick oranges yesterday afternoon? Or when I pushed her on her bike through the neighborhood and she stopped to explore their water pipes?

Actually, I think she learns A TON when we grocery shop and run errands. She learns not just the basic facts of handing money to the cashier, but also how to smile and be polite. How to wait our turn nicely. How to behave and function. (Did you read about her "maying"? I mean, if that isn't proof that child training begins right at home, then I don't know what is!) There are a lot of great teachers out there, but no one quite like Mama and Papa. Certainly no one who loves her as we do, so even with all our disqualifications, the grace of a loving relationship can (hopefully...) endure and even flourish.

Rory brought home this book from the library a few weeks ago and it has been an excellent read. The writing isn't anything special (kind of reads like a book report actually!), but its simple style lends itself well to the meat and weight of the content. And as a mama trying to find her stable footing, I've even cried at some of the stories as their honest and hard-fought fight to do what they know is right resonates with me. And I've been extremely inspired to pursue our own path with home schooling and child-raising. It can be hard to go it alone, so to speak. To not only be so confident in what I know is right for my daughter, but to actually walk it out.

One of the moms from the book says, "People everywhere are following the same general plan of nursery school, school, college, jobs. It is always surprising to me, that they don't believe they have any other choices. ... One of our goals is to help (our daughter) be true to herself, not to follow the herd. The gift we're giving our daughter is to be able to take eighteen years of her life, at the beginning, and really discover who she is, what she's good at, and what it means to be a good person. We're giving (her) the space to pursue many interests, and to reflect on who she is and where she wants to go in her life."

Another, "One pleasant surprise for me has been the experience of seeing us all become so close. Unfortunately, the way my children value my company and my opinion is something rather foreign to many families these days. We live as a team, with each member making contributions appropriate to his or her age and gifts. So we have a true sense of needing each other." Later the same mom says, "I want everyone to know: You can do this."

And this was a great, simple answer to the socialization question: "Our children interact with each other daily. There are people of different ages, different personalities, different temperaments under one roof. They play with people in our neighborhood. They participate in a variety of activities of their choosing. ...for us socialization means much more. We're teaching our children to be productive members of our family so they can be productive members of our community and, later, the world. ...I don't think the public school system teaches true socialization. They teach a child to conform to the group around him. I don't want my kids conforming to a group of children who make fun of those who are different (two of her boys have ADHD, just so you have a little background here). I don't want my teens conforming to a group where doing their assignments means they're inferior and weird, and where they have to smoke, drink and have sex to fit in."

And this one really hit home: "When a child is in school, the teacher slowly replaces the parents as the authority figure of a son or daughter's life. It takes some time to switch it back to the way it should be."

But mostly it was reading stories like this that inspired me: "I love homschooling and the kids love it, too. We live a homeschooling lifestyle. We don't try to mimic the public school's schedule or time blocks. ... Learning is fun and exciting for my children, because they don't have to worry if it's going to be on a test. They can read for enjoyment... and they love being able to express their ideas without being mocked by their peers."

"It's wonderful to be with your child as he takes his first step and says his first word. With homeschooling, I get to be there as they reach other milestones as well. I was able to hear my children read their first words and spell their names for the first time. When they make one of their many realizations and discoveries, it is my husband and I who to share that celebration with them."

Of course, "There certainly are unique challenges in homeschooling. Perhaps some see these as problems with homeschooling. But I see them as family challenges. Normal family problems may be magnified when families are together for longer periods of time, such as kids arguing, kids not wanting to listen to their mother or father, and a mom with burnout." Personally, I found these problems to be problems whether homeschooled or not. Homeschooling offers the time and availability to work them out. There was nothing worse than being sent off to school after having a fight with my mom. Being homeschooled, well, you're either going to resolve that issue or....well, you're gonna resolve it, buddy!

But the best and most reassuring parts could be found in almost all 21 stories: their housework is never done either! Yes! I love that I'm not the only one! (Please, don't point out that most of them have mulitple children.)