Day 2

Did you know....that Sabbath-keeping was how God commanded the Israelites to set themselves apart from the world?

Rory and I are full-blown into our own company (Stark Contrast Property Management). I hesitate to even say it, but we are so excited. There is a certain adrenaline running through our home right now. And we thank God for it because we have an amazing amount of work to do. Laying in bed last night I said aloud, "I can't believe it's only Monday." Rory practically screamed. Between Sunday and Monday I think I have done about a week's worth of work. It's crazy. But it's so fun.

Reading in Exodus this morning about Moses' face-to-face encounters with God I was so inspired. Moses clearly loves God. He loves spending time with Him, doesn't think about eating when he's with Him, debates issues with Him without anyone getting offending and after he leaves Him, his face literally glows--for days. Moses has to hide this glow from the people under a veil--it's one of those kinds of love the rest of the world just can't understand.

And Moses relays a few critical things to me that I read in Exodus today:

1. The Holy Spirit imparts skill. Craftsmen were filled with the Holy Spirit in wisdom AND in skill. This resonates with me as I often see craftwork (especially the arts, but also even construction) as such a creative, left-brained activity. I spoke with a crazy man once who I think Jesus appointed to converse with me and he told me a lot of random things. One of which is that our intuition is the Holy Spirit. And fear comes when we let our training take over our intuition. This does not mean to just whimsically follow our heart. But if you understand, you understand. He also talked a lot about the left brain.

2. The Sabbath is not just a day of rest. I had wrestled with Sabbath-keeping for most of my life. When Sunday rolls around, I am not tired. I always kind of thought that maybe I had a special exemption--not tired, no need for day of rest. But reading God's heart about the Sabbath it's much deeper than a day of rest. It's a day of saying, I won't control my work. I give control of my work to You. And this is how we are to know who knows God and who does not. Which of us are in control of our work? Because God is very clear that this Sabbath-keeping is for harvest and planting. Do you know how risky it is to just stop planting? If you aren't trusting God, it is very risky indeed. We're talking not being able to eat. But in this most especially, we are stop every 6 days, 6 years and rest. We are also supposed to party, but that's another story.

So as we begin this trek of running/owning/creating a business, I pray that we will offer it up completely to the Lord. Even on days when I am not tired. Because it's not our business. No, there's a Stark Contrast between us and the world and this business, well, this business is His.

Up, down and all around

I have often said that my life is a lot like a roller coaster. And to be honest, I like it this way. Lines don't lie. If your life can be mapped out in a straight line, well, I am afraid you might be flat-lining it. That is, you may not be alive.

Most of the women in my life know nothing about flat-lining. We are strong roller-coaster riding spirits. As Rory and I enter this new phase in our life, I feel the coaster click-click-click-click into motion. I am excited. And a little afraid. Ah, the complex thrill of adventure!

Pray for us as you read this. I am a firm believer that like Rob Bell says, "Everything is spiritual." I fully believe that this new opportunity is a chance to grow and mature spiritually. That's a big part of what excites me! This is a chance to use this little business (it's only been like 3 days officially and we have yet to create an official LLC, but still...) to form ourselves more into His likeness. And so the roller coaster begins.

I am reminded of Peter.

"Jesus, you are my best friend."

"If anything ever happens to you, I will die with you!"

"No one loves you like I love you, Jesus."

"Jesus is in trouble? Umm...no I don't know Jesus."

"No, I told You. I don't know that guy."

"Leave me alone! I don't know the man!"

Talk about highs and lows--and that was all in one night! If he were a woman, they would have institutionalized him. (Ok, that last comment is due in part to hearing a lot about the movie The Changeling.) Ah, what personal gratitude I have that this double-minded, fearful, doubtful, back and forth man would be the ROCK that the church was to stand on. A rock who makes mistakes. A rock who lies, denies and proves himself unfaithful. A rock who clearly knows what a roller coaster feels like. I am in good company.

Let the ride begin.

A phone call today

I had a great conversation with Rory's now former boss today. He called me for a few reasons I am sure: make sure I was feeling okay with the transition, encourage me to have Rory have Travis put the details in writing, etc. But mostly, his call made me feel incredibly honored to have Rory as my husband. The way he described Rory and how he wants the best for us told me that my man had earned this leader's respect.

Mike Flynn is a man of detail, order, organization and godly leadership. After we got off the phone today, I read Exodus--the part where God is incredibly detailed with every single little piece of instruction regarding the Tabernacle. And today I read it with encouragement and passion. Having worked for a man like Mike, I understand how supportive, encouraging and healthy it is to work for a man who is so detailed. It empowers the people around you. There is no room for fuzziness, for misunderstandings and for fear. The expectations are put clearly in writing. And Mike is there to do everything he can to help you succeed.

It might seem tiresome to read so many apparently random little details (tie this to this, make sure this is that color, etc.). But if I were building a temple to God (and we all are whether we know it or not), I would want it to be absolutely, no questions about it perfect. God (and his influence in Mike Flynn's life) make sure that we are/have been fully equipped to do just that. Not just so that we feel good about ourselves (though, this is a natural, wonderful result), but also so that God is glorified. I am grateful for a God of detail and the few men who are willing to emulate that in their daily interactions.

I am also incredibly, undyingly proud of my husband for honoring me by working so well, so hard and with such intense passion and heart. You have succeeded past my wildest dreams. And I am excited about the future. Thanks, Ror.

An old favorite

We are starting a new chapter. Part of that involves closing an old one. That's what my husband is doing today. Closing an old one.

Have you ever read a book and loved it so much that you couldn't put it down? You kept reading and reading as if it was feeding you and you were addicted to the nourishment? Mmm...page after page, chapter after chapter.

And then you reached the last page. You couldn't put it down but part of you realized that if you kept reading, you would finally be...done. And it saddens you to think that this experience, this life that opened up to you in these pages will actually come to an end.

This is a bit of what we are doing today. We have so enjoyed our journey at Bron. It has had antagonists and climaxes. Good days and bad days. But now as it comes to an end, I think we are a little sad to see it go.

L-O-V-E

If I were a boy. Love story. Womanizer. Hot n cold. Heartless. Love lockdown. And the number one most popular song on iTunes today: White Horse. A song about how fairytale love doesn't exist anymore.

These titles reveal so much about where we are today. About how we cry out for love--true love. We need it. We crave it. We sing it. We dance it. We sell it. And hope to receive love for doing it.

I even heard a news story on the radio today about advertisements the Humanist Society will be taking out this holiday season. One ad for a bus will read: "Why believe in God when you can just be good for goodness sake." Another: "Don't believe in God? You're not alone." These ads are meant to target atheists and agnostics who tend to feel alone around the holidays.

Even if you don't like God you crave love.

With the holidays approaching (Thanksgiving is less than 2 weeks away), one of the greatest love stories of all time will be told. Enya has a new album out where even she tells of God be with us (Emmanuel). "Oh come, oh come Emmanuel. And ransom captive Israel."

Love does exist. True love. The white horse. Jesus rode in on it and redeemed us, His captive love--He ransomed us! There was blood and sweat. Tears and pain. Joy and a love that never dies. Tell me romance is dead! He didn't make a show of it. He didn't throw money at it. Or turn a deaf ear to us. He rode in silently and went right to his love. And He never left. He offered us a new kind of love that knows its own and demands nothing. He offered the kind of love that we are crying for. The blessed day in December is approaching, reminding us all of the love we all so desperately need.

Call it "Manure"

We need a heck of a lot of s*** in order for anything worthwhile to grow. You can't just sprinkle it on. You can't just toss it out in the soil every once in a while. No, you need to layer it in. Cover every seed in soil that is laden with s***. Some call it manure but s*** works much better for my metaphor.

Sometimes it's hard to tell weeds from plants. The weeds can blossom. The weeds often grow quickly. The weeds can be quite beautiful. And long-lasting. But they aren't plants. They don't need any s*** to grow in. They can grow in cement or rocks.

But I want plants. Beautiful edible nourishing growth. And that takes a lot of s***. Thankfully, I am quite familiar with s***. So I expect a heck of a lot of growth anytime now. In fact, I see sprouts beginning to shoot forth from the soil. Sure took a lot of s***. But boy those plants look beautiful. And strong. And very, very nourishing.

On we go

I have been climbing uphill for so long. At times I get spurts of energy and burst ahead with full momentum. Other times, I find a rocky crag I can hide myself in and sit and wait for the storm to pass. Lately, I had been hiding a lot more than climbing.

I once heard a story about a woman who was attempting to swim, I believe, the English Channel. It was freezing and more difficult than any training could have prepared her for. Her coach was in a boat alongside her encouraging her and propelling her along with his voice. Finally, her arms gave out and she could take no longer. Calling it quits, she looked up and saw the shore was less than a mile away.

I am glad that in climbing I am able to hide in the rocks sometimes. Because, like my swimmer friend, I would have far too often called it quits if I wouldn't have been able to rest and hide.

The other day as I had crawled out from behind the rocks and begun climbing again (steady climbing this time--no spurt of energy but clear determination), I caught a glimpse of the view from the top. I hadn't reached the top, but I caught just a glimpse of some of what could be seen from the top. It amazed me. That little peek into what awaited me energized me for days. It was no spurt of energy. It was confirmation that I am almost there. The view won't leave my eyes even as I look to the next hold. So I climb on. Keeping my eyes ahead on the peak before me.

A special thanks to the women in my life who have held me in the rock and belayed me when I could take no more. We are on our way and we are closer than we know.

Transition

I think for the first time in my life I am learning to enjoy being young. As a kid, you just are. It isn't a conscious thought to be young. To play and not worry. It's just who you are. A blissful ignorance some might say.

But at some point, we all "grow up." For a lot of us, it comes too soon. And for most of us, we embrace it and jump into it fully ignorant of what adulthood is all about.

I know this well. At 12-years-old my mom insisted it was time I got a job. Now this wasn't like a sweat-shop type of it's time you learn how to support the family situation. Rather, she wanted to prepare me for life so we called the Alliance Defense Fund. Or rather, I, a 12-year-old called and set up an interview with Scott Phillips. Of course, it wasn't a paid position. (As an organization run by lawyers they were not interested in breaking child labor laws.) But you couldn't have convinced me of anything less.

I took this job so seriously that I would get a migraine by the end of every afternoon. Of course, now I look back and smile at the little girl sitting in the big chair in her brown cardigan and khaki pants. (I remember my mom's frustration in finding me office-appropriate attire in the juniors department. It was almost as if most 12-year-olds were not working in an office at that time.) It was a priceless experience that I owe so much to. My mom was always light years ahead of her time and I am so grateful that by 15 I knew how to interview, file papers and dress for success. Not to mention, I learned that hiking was the perfect way to eliminate work-place migraines.

By 16, I was student body president--of the local community college. I remember trying to hide from fellow students while waiting in the pick-up area for my mom to pick me up from student government meetings when I was just 15. I was always a go-getter. Ahead of the status quo. And I never even knew it. I kept wanting more, pressing on for more.

And now at 25, I think I am enjoying being young for the first time in my life. I have so much experience and knowledge to stand on that now I can wait in peace. I don't know where we are headed, my husband and I. Not specifically. His job has redirected him into a new path. I am in the middle of pursuing a few new things. We own our own house and don't have children. This is a unique transition time for us where we just get to be young and free. We get to play and (hopefully) not worry. The world is our oyster, so to speak.

Part of it is scary. But so much of it excites us. We feel that we are on the verge something new together. We are so close to the edge but know that God has to lead us there. And it's exciting. And fun to be young. The experiences I had as a child and teenager were stressful and not always easy. But if it was those that allow me to now step back and own my future in a sense, then I am very grateful. I am grateful that there is very little I am afraid of now. I owe that to my mom and to God who constantly catches me, stops me, redirects me, pushes me, guides me and leads to the quiet waters.

Here's to the future!

Honestly surprised

I know everyone knew Obama was going to win. But I really held my breath. I am honestly surprised and still trying to wrap my head around it all.

Since we don't own a tv, we sat glued to the internet until we couldn't take it anymore and finally went to a neighborhood pizza joint to watch the televised election coverage. The race was clearly led by Obama, but we kept our eyes glued.

When I saw the 297 flashing on the screen next to Obama's name, I shook my head back and forth and blinked a few times. Did it really just jump from 220 to 297? Rory turned to me, "Obama just won! It's over."

A few teenage guys who worked in the restaurant started yelling, "Our president's gonna get assassinated!" Which made me laugh. I have had the same thought, but they were all pulling for him and were thrilled with the results. The strange reality for them, though, was that he'd be assassinated. Gotta love teenage boys who have no right to vote yet.

The two other ladies in the restaurant were noticeably saddened. When the teenagers asked them why, they said, "Because we're old. We've loved longer and know what we're about to face." I couldn't help it. I chimed in, "And I don't want socialized health care. Plus I like to keep babies alive." This surprised and encouraged the right-winger ladies. "Yeah! Keep the government out of it."

I did vote for McCain. Not because I hate or am afraid of Obama. But because I cannot elect a man as my leader who would encourage anyone's right to kill another--even if it was just a fetus. And I don't want to lose my right to see my naturopathic doctor. I don't even know if Obama will change any of that, but it matters to me and McCain understands that.

Rory and I got in the car and I was surprised that I was truly saddened. I think a big part of him was, too. But then he said something very wise and very true.

"You know, we've been through a lot of ups and downs in our relationship. Things haven't gone the way we thought or always wanted. But God has led us through it all and I wouldn't change any of that."

"Yeah," I said. "You're right." And I looked ahead at the road before us and smiled.

Is it time to be afraid yet?

Obama might win. McCain might win. Ok. Nader might win. Either way, I am pretty sure that I am supposed to be afraid.

See Obama is really a Muslim terrorist/racist who will rise up to be the anti-Christ (because clearly the signs of the Apocalypse are to be found in email forwards, not facts or much less the Bible). And McCain is going to ruin our economy PLUS create another endless war as the Bush mimic. And if Nader wins, well, ok, Nader's not going to win. But if he did I am sure there would be critical life-altering and threatening changes coming.

I just read an article today about how our economic crisis developed because of our faulty economic policies. A suggested solution: Islamic financial policy based on the Holy Qu'ran. (I am not joking. You can find the literature at http://www.adbusters.org/blogs. It's the third to last article on the page.)

And don't forget that food prices are going up. We may all starve here in the near future.

And toxins and poisonous food are lurking in every area of our life waiting to destroy us.

And you know about Al Quada? They are nearly at our door if not already infiltrated through our nation.

And, of course, there are the good old-fashioned concerns: car accidents, kidnappings, robbery, random drive-by shootings, road rage, anthrax and heart attack.

Basically we ought to be afraid, very afraid. In fact, we should vote, eat, drive, walk and read all out of fear. Solemn, biblically-based, pulpit-inspired fear.

Could Rev. Falwell be right? Could these terrors be signs of punishment from God? I mean, He punished Israel, after all. If He's willing to punish His chosen people then surely this pagan nation is headed for doom and gloom. Look at the book of Hosea. He says He's going to "rebuke her (Israel)", "strip her naked," "make her like a desert," "block her path," and make it so she "can't find her way." And that's His plan of action to His favorite people. America must be screwed (especially if Prop 102 doesn't pass)!

But have we read the whole chapter? He does all of this for a single purpose: to draw her (Israel) back to Him. He then says He will "allure" her by speaking "tenderly" to her in her lost state. Then He says He will restore her vineyards and bring her hope.

What? I thought He did it because He was angry. He hated her and wanted her destroyed, right?

The Word says she got so far from her "husband (God)," that He removed every single distraction from her until she turned back to Him. Did He destroy her? Depends how you look at it. In my mind, her life was not taken. In fact, it was restored so that she would, as it says in Hosea 2:15, "sing as in the days of her youth."

Sure confusion and pain would have swirled around her as she began to lose all the things she trusted. In the beginning she declared "my lovers...give me my food and my water, my wool and my linen, my oil and my drink." To lose what she believed to be her sustenance would be devastating. But her way of thinking had become twisted. She forgot who really provided for her.

He expressly says "I was the one who gave her the grain, the new wine and oil, who lavished on her the silver and gold." She got so far from the truth that she began living a lie. And she forgot the one who truly loved her--for her. She had done nothing to earn His love. But her "lovers" required many lewd acts in order to "love" her.

So might God be punishing us? I hope so. I am tried of performing my own lewd acts to receive love from a government, from an economy, from a corporate society that doesn't care whether I live or die and really does me no good at all.

I know that I have gotten far from Him. I have forgotten that it's Him who provided my house--not the real estate boom. It's Him that kept me healthy--not the Organics line at Safeway. It's Him that provided and withheld jobs--not the economy. It's Him that maintains the weather--not the Global Warming crisis. It's all been Him, but we (and I mean Christians when I say we) have trusted in the world for our prosperity.

It may sound extreme, but if it takes a socialist president and Qu'ran law to turn us back to Him, then so be it. We are assured that we have nothing to fear if we know Jesus. In fact, we have been promised that it will all work to good. That is, if we truly love Him.

So what are you afraid of this election? This day? This year? Maybe most of us grew up without a father or with one who would berate us and withhold affection and that's what we think of when we think of punishment. But that is not God's definition of punishment. It's about time we stop fearing the worst and trust the God whose express goal is to bring us to Him.

Is He really good? Good enough for us to give up fear? I think so.

Vote. Don't vote. I don't really care. I just want you to know Him. He has proven that He directs the hearts of kings like waterways. I don't need a good king or a good president. Not nearly as much as I need a good God. And I already have one of those.

If you do too, then what are you so afraid of? Losing your house? Your 401k? Having gays in your neighborhood (remember they need Jesus as much as I do whether or not they legally marry)? Think about it and take it back to Him. I am pretty sure that Paul said even death held no fear for him. So what keeps us gripped in terror? He promises that His plan for us is not to harm us, but to prosper us. To give us a hope and a future. And hopefully, like with Israel, to allure us back to Him with kind words and new vineyards.

Maybe our fear stems from the possibility that we don't really trust Him after all. Trying to resuscitate a government to a moral state is a perfect distraction from the reality that none of us are good--no, not one. He says that He will heal our land when WE turn to Him and pray. He doesn't mention voting and He doesn't reference consitutional purity. So are you praying? Are you trusting Him?

Lord, thank You for Your goodness. Thank You for Your Word that leads us to the Truth every time. I love You.

So many things, innumerable things

Today I am grateful for so many things.

I am feeling a little extra emotional this morning so I am sure that has something to do with it, but I did my usual web check this morning (email, Facebook, Sheena's blog--sheenachristine.blogspot.com, and then the usual round of blogs, most of which can be linked to from Sheena's blog) and feel blessed at the work women are doing all around me. Their honesty. Their strength. Their radical obedience in such a confusing world.

It makes me feel grateful for home-schooling. Not just that I was home-schooled, but that women are still standing up to society and demanding God's best for their family. I am grateful to my parents for fighting for my sisters and me in this same way; it didn't shelter me. It directed me. And I desperately need direction. Don't we all? I am grateful for the families who are honestly sharing their experiences and changing lives (and by that I mean the world) day by day.

Which brings me to my gratitude for those willing to be honest. My inner community has tightened and tightened over the years, slowly whittling away til just a few honest messy ones remain. Of this group I can count my husband. He is an honest one. A messy one. And I can now call him a friend in ways I was ignorant of friendship before. Even my career has slowly born itself out of my willingness to be honest and real with employers, leading me into great blessings. Honesty is not the comfortable, acceptable road to toll. It's embarrassing at times and rejected very often. Hardly ever is it directly understood. And I doubt embarrassed, rejected and misunderstood are the kind of markers most of us desire for our existence. But there is life in the truth. And unending blessing.

Grateful to the Lord for relentless pursuit. (This list is not a linear hierarchy, by the way, but rather each element relates and complements the other.) He doesn't allow mediocrity. Balance, but not blindness. He has done this in ways I have asked and in others where I was fully ignorant. From the food I eat to the marriage I hold to the doggies I "parent" to the aforementioned schooling I received. He receives my honesty and I feel I am in His inner circle--even in my true state. He pursues and transforms me in the good things and He does it in the painful. And today it makes me feel loved. And grateful.

So thanks. Thanks for the radical honest ones that God uses in my life. And really, this all stems from Him. So thank You. I am dyingly appreciative.