It Has Begun

This is the week where I no longer use months to account for my baby's age. "She's just about one," I say now. It's coming. On Saturday. It's practically here. Year one of babyhood and mommyhood and parenthood and really what feels like life just beginning is done. And yet, it is still so just beginning.

I want to post a bit someday about the huge waves of triumph and travail my husband and I experienced this year. (Didn't think we were gonna make it there a few times...) I want to post also someday (soon) to ask if anyone knows who I am anymore. Not sure I do! I have a lot of stream-of-consciousness posting going on in my head, but I am still in it. And write (and think) better in retrospect. So, I guess those are hints at coming attractions.

But yes, this week is a milestone. I feel exhilarated and frozen all in one! And often times, feel ridiculous for making so much of a first birthday. But when it came up with some moms at the library last week, they both got teary-eyed--one remembering her daughter's, the other anticipating. And that would be my best advice from this first year--find yourself some moms. Moms like you and moms not like you (cause it's more interesting conversation that way and, just maybe, you will learn something). But moms. Moms. Moms. Moms. I have cried leaving playdates before, just because it felt SO GOOD to talk with other moms. I have my mom. And love talking with her. I even have my mom-in-law. But moms raising their babies in the here and now "get" me in a way few others can. And how great it is to be "gotten!"

So thank you moms. Thank you, thank you, thank you. For just being you! For raising your kids, for loving them so much, for listening to me rant, for loving my daughter. And really, in so many ways, for loving me. I literally could not have done it without you.