Reading List

Truth be told, by the time I was ready to deliver Dia I thought I had read it all.

Don't get me wrong--I read A LOT! Especially when you're planning a home-birth, I think it's just a natural preparation tool to read as much as you can possibly get your hands on.

So I've been compiling my Must-Have Mommy Reading List for new mommies, mommies to be and anyone who loves children and family. One of my dearest friends is newly pregnant and I'm hoping Rory will get a second job so I can not only buy them all of these books (there really aren't that many), but I can also buy them my other mommy must-haves: the BOB stroller and a good mei tei wrap. I think he'll go for it...

Let me preface this list with the fact that it is based on my Judeo-Christian, whole-hearted belief in the inerrant Bible (old and new testament). It is also based on my strong belief that children are never accidents, mistakes or burdens on the life and well-being of either and both mother and father. Let me also preface this with the fact that I am a well-experienced mother of exactly seven months now, so I reserve the right to change my mind at any time. :)

• Ina May's Guide to Childbirth-- This book was/is critical for me in providing a positive, empowering birth experience. The first half is solely real-life birth stories in the mother's own words and I was inspired to tears many times as I read and re-read for my marathon miracle.
• A Mother's Heart-- This one is new to us and we are taking it chapter by chapter. The topics aren't exactly ground-breaking, but she is able to articulate and help us define what motherhood means. She even includes discussion questions at the end of each chapter to really help you understand your role as mom.
• For the Family's Sake-- This one is also new and I already know that I will be re-reading and re-reading it. Rory asked me about it and I struggled for quite a while to define it, finally ending with a silly, "It's about home-making." To which he replied, "Oh, like how to do dishes and stuff?" I laughed outloud! If you have ever struggled with the idea of home-making, either believing it too old-fashioned, too boring, too stagnant or too oppressive, then you are in for a treat! I am still in awe of her beautiful, intellectual approach to this most sacred role.
• Gymboree Play and Learn: 1001 Fun Activities For Your Baby and Child-- No mom should be without this one. Dia and I jumped right in with their suggestion of (gently) playing tug and war and she was in giggles in seconds! Each page is chock-full of excellent, creative ideas and it's color-coded, broken down by age so it couldn't be easier to use. A definite must-have.
• The Dr. Sears library of books-- I love how Dr. Sears and his wife Martha marvel at how they have had to coin the phrase, "attachment parenting." They say it used to just be called loving your kids! They are honest, down to earth parents and grandparents who have compiled all their knowledge--medical and otherwise--into a handy reference guide for just about anything you need. They also offer a great book on becoming a dad, something rarely on bookshelves.

And of course, none of these would be anything without the basis for all truth, the Holy Spirit-inspired Bible. I keep that one handy at all times.

The list is growing and I have many more titles to recommend, but these are my must-haves for now. I so appreciate the honesty and wisdom of those who have gone before!

Dia and Dax

It would be wrong to go on and on about my social butterfly without introducing you all to Dia's first little friend: Dax!

Aren't they adorable?! (You can see my shy child attempt to steal Dax's treat!)

We met Dax and his mom, Chrissy, a few weeks back at a La Leche League meeting we attended. There were actually a lot of great moms with babies right around Dia's age there so we've been planning playgroups and finding lots of fun ways to socialize--both for their sake and ours! If I haven't already encouraged you to attend a LLL meeting, let me just say that as a breastfeeding mom these days I can't tell you how wonderfully supportive it is to be in an entire community of like-minded moms.

So for now, DD and Dax are enjoying growing their friendship by poking at each other's face, stealing each other's toy/treat and more or less, just being babies. And I think one of the major pushes to Dia crawling came from watching this "older boy."

It's also given me added insight to my daughter's make-up: A few days ago, Dax was crying and I wish I could have caught Dia's reaction on film. She instantly dropped what she was doing, got over to him asap with a huge smile on her face and literally tried to make him happy! I couldn't believe what I was seeing, but other moms noticed it, too and even commented on how she was trying to make him "better." Seeing DD in company like this is a whole new window into seeing who she is--and she's simply wonderful.

Last time we met up at the park I finally had my camera out. You'll have to forgive the poor camera work, but here is Dia's newest friend Dax:




Aren't they cute?!

Big News, People! I'm Talking BIG

So....it officially happened. As my mom would say, it's a "red letter day." Big things are a moving and a shaking in the Starks household. Well, to be more accurate, a sweet little someone is moving and shaking:

Dis crawled!

She has been mobile for a while now, but mostly by scooting or lifting her knees and then kind of lunging forward. We've been waiting for the criss-cross crawl of the arms and legs, though, since it's supposed to be a pretty major brain function. And while my mom and sister claimed she did this two days ago while I was off in the kitchen, we all know that nothing is ever truly official until mom and dad see it. So I'm marking yesterday, April 23, as the it day.

And it's probably hard to tell from this blog, but we're awfully proud of her. I was blessed to get it on film, but as she is fairly nakey, I'll just post pics--after we diapered her. :)


Her main motivation in crawling across Grandma's tile floor--a big metal basket. She loves the texture and it's light enough to submit to her will. :)


Grandma got these great little balls that are fun to chase after


And she will do anything for Auntie Jessa--and I think vice versa :)


Mobile baby in action!

Lately

We have been up to tons of fun lately and I just had to post a few recent pics. DD will be seven months old tomorrow, if you can believe it, and there is much to document.


First, it should be noted that Daddy is way fun. Typically he is busy doing crazy things that thrill her, but here they are simply being in love. So sweet and precious--Dia is teaching Daddy to be gentle. :)


Two of her favorite things--bottle tops and painted toe nails! (Don't worry--this is a ROOT beer bottle!) She is in love with bottle tops (great on the gums) and thankfully Rory drinks a lot of bottled beverages (Oogave and Izze, anyone?). And I can't even make the girly stuff up--she just loves all things girl. Just wish my feet didn't get so dirty...she really wants to play with my toes!


Again, no need for alarm! The car is, obviously, not on. But if we are out, I tend to nurse her in the car--front seat, of course. Which is how she found the steering wheel...watch out, world! She'll also try to poke every last button and gadget. I'll often have to try to figure out how to turn things off once the car starts! Lol.


In other big news, Dia went to her first pool party! The kids were a bit older (around 3 years) so they weren't too into a baby, but Dia loved loved loved watching them play. Plus it was a great chance to show off her summer figure!


The real joy, though, came when we got this big blow-up crayon as a party favor. It is still one of her favorite toys!


And, that's right, folks! We're eating now! Granted, it's just a few bites here and there, but she really likes eating. She not only loves the spoons, bowls, sitting in her very own high chair and all the fun talk and singing, but she actually enjoys the food. You have to keep that food coming, which is why we usually use at least two spoons.


Did I mention that she likes to have fun? :)


And the other great things about baby food...it lends itself very easily to the artistic ones. :)


I believe I am mandated by law to post at least one "Aw" picture of Dia sleeping with daddy. This one is pretty sweet.


And here is just one of Daddy's aforementioned "crazy things." This box usually sits on her shelf holding toys, but Rory put her in it with her giraffe Gerard and they rode all over the house like this! She was pretty thrilled at first, but after a bit, just sat back and took in the sights. :)

I know they say a picture is worth a thousand words, but in this case, no camera, not even in the hands of a professional photographer, comes close to capturing even a bit of how great India has made our life. She is an absolute delight who changes and grows and even teaches me and Rory everyday. I made a conscious choice a few years back that my chosen career path and confirmed best path to the change I want to see in the world meant, for me, becoming a mom. I am only seven months into it and had no idea how truly right I was. This is the best choice I have ever made. Hands down!

Better Than a Bunny

Easter was indeed true to form: holidays are just plain tons more fun with a baby!

And it's also fun coming up with creative twists on what are usually high-sugar, high secular celebrations. Easter was kind of a no-brainer for me: skip the candy and hunt for Resurrection Eggs. My mother-in-law stopped in at a local Christian store and the guys hid them around my parents' backyard. Great idea and tons of fun.

But then, my always outside-of-the-box mom came up with an idea that Rory and I instantly took on as our newest family tradition: a book hunt! We both loved it the minute we heard it. My mom and mother-in-law bought all the books (big, colorful board books) at Half-Priced Bookstore (a great place to buy books for all ages, especially little ones because they are so affordable to replace) and then Rory took Dia around to collect them. My mom even gave her this great basket big enough to hold all her new goodies. She found some great titles for Easter--one was a kid's New Testament and a Max Lucado bead book about John 3:16. And several weeks later, we are still enjoying those books! Don't you just love creative moms?

It was a great holiday--beautiful AZ weather, too--and now we have a great, educational, new tradition. Unfortunately, I left my camera sitting in its case the whole time. I was too busy enjoying myself! But my sister Jessica took some great pics that you can see on Facebook.

Passion, Passover and the Big Two-Seven

Ah, it's Passion Week. How I love Passion Week.

I remember my second semester in Bible college when Dr. O (still one of my favorite teachers of all time), opened my world with the book "Jesus Christ: The Greatest Life." I had never before even imagined a blending of the four gospels, much less such a complete narrative of Jesus' life. It blew me away. I still keep that book on the shelf and refer to it some ten years later. That book introduced me to the real power and purpose of Passion Week.

And because I am completely vain, I love that my birthday is always somewhere near this most holy week. This year, it's smack dab in the middle.

But wait. It gets better! PASSOVER (my favorite holiday of the year--yes, more beloved than even Christmas) actually began on none other than March 30 (my birthday). So at sundown Monday night we enlisted all the family that could make it to join us for a Rory-led seder. And it was so personal, so meaningful hearing Rory read and lead us through the traditions that hold my heart still. We found a new Haggadah that we hadn't used before and this one really emphasized family which was special for us. And we sat Dia in her travel high chair right next to Daddy and everyone couldn't help but laugh and giggle as she spoke up every time Rory did. It was adorable. Gift of gab, she has!

Plus, can I tell you how much fun I had pretending to be Jewish! I had to stop by Whole Foods for some matza and charoseth ingredients and a mom and her daughter ran up searching for something especially kosher for Passover and we ended up chatting and then at the end I said, "Happy Passover!" Just like a real Jewish mom! :)

And Tuesday morning we went out for breakfast (my most favorite meal to eat out) and simply had a beautiful day. It felt like a day out of a vacation--you know, those days where everyone is relaxed and the day just kind of takes care of itself? It was just perfect. My first birthday as a mommy went beautifully. We even stopped by Chapparal Park (where Rory and I used to hang out for Park Days as kids!) to show Dia the duckies and try out a jungle gym (including the toddler swing) for the first time. Let me just say that, true to form, the swing, slide and ducks had nothing on all the people she saw! She is literally energized by people--seeing them, smiling at them, talking to them. She draws people to her--even teenage boys and other surprising humans who don't usually do baby-talk! If anybody out there is single and needs to borrow a people-magnet, just let me know. DD is your ticket to making friends!


Yeah, yeah. Swing, schming. There are PEOPLE over THERE, Mom!


Slide. Up, down. I get it, but there are PEOPLE just over THERE!!! (She is in love with people--big, small, young, old, short, tall, doesn't matter! And there just happened to be a little boy and his dad right next to the slide--way cooler than any slide, let me tell you.)

So another year older, hopefully wiser and bountifully more passionate and grateful to be here. Happy Passion Week! And a big thank-ya'll to all those beloveds who made it out to dance with us at Harrolds. Yeehaw!

Super Mom

So, what does it feel like to be Super Mom? You know, the svelt and trim (baby? what baby? my flawless body has never nurtured a human, or so it's supposed to look like), house-orderly, cook in the kitchen and free woman in the bedroom with all kids neatly dressed (scratch that--adorably dressed in designer wear that you bought on sale) kind of mom? Well, clearly, I have no idea!

Can I be honest? I loved my post-baby body. Don't get me wrong--it did NOT look like the Victoria's Secret models' bodies. It didn't even look like a plus-size model's! A post-baby body is a unique creation. It's a transition figure...it had held the most precious gift once and now it nurtures it through milk. It's ownership is still somewhere between mama's and baby's. And there is nothing else like it in the world.

We don't see much of naked anymore. Don't get me wrong--we see plenty of smut. We see risque. We see inappropriate. And we see airbrushed. But we don't see much, if any, true naked bodies of real women. I remember the first time I used the "community" dressing room at Last Chance. I was shocked. I had never seen so many different bodies! I had honestly, and ignorantly, swallowed the lies that underneath everyone's body is much more perfect than mine. To be honest, that's all I had ever seen--the bare bodies of models or actresses. Not WOMEN.

I had a heart-to-heart with my/Dia's doctor today (have I mentioned the phenomenal Dr. Swan before?!). I asked her how to lose the baby weight. Her response brought tears to my eyes. I can't possibly convey it all in black and white, but her words brought peace over my physical being--literally.

I had loved my post-baby body....but kept waiting for it to return to the pre-baby body. It's as if I, and most/all of society, wanted to erase the miracle that took place in my physical being. It's as if I wanted to trade in the nurturing figure of a new mother for that of a 12-year-old boy. Gross. And yet, everyone else would call it successful weight loss.

Don't get me wrong--you know I am 100% for healthy. But a post-baby body is not an obese body. It is not a problem body. It is not a small boy's figure with implants.

It is a woman's body. And I love it. And I love the small, little, trusting baby it single-handedly brought forth. It is a body of victory and like all battlefields, it's a little rough right now. :) But every fading stretch mark and pouch of skin are part of what made my miracle possible.

And whether or not you have birthed a child, your body as a woman IS beautiful. It is a unique temple whose esteem lies within. You may hate it (which I doubt--the hate is usually transposed either by another feeling or by accepting worth based on someone else's view, not truly your own--maybe a mother, sister, friend, television, etc.), but you would be wasting your God-given time. And besides, there are other little people looking up to you, like my daughter, to see how she should value her body. Do me a favor and at least act like you like yourself. Do it for me. Do it for her.

Butterflies!

There are so many wonderful new things going on with us these days (a certain lovebug is 6 months old now! And eating pureed carrots!!!! And waving!!!!!), but I just have to jump on here and encourage everyone to run to the Desert Botanical Gardens to see the butterflies before they go. I believe they are here until May 9th.

We went today and Dia was literally shrieking with glee (it's a funny sound she makes by breathing in really fast; Rory is semi-concerned she is choking but so far, it seems to be just for fun)! She first fell in love with the little people there (aka kids) and then all the nice friendly snowbirds, but once she caught on that there were beautifully colored wings flying everywhere, she was in heaven. It was a delight. And you are somewhat forced to take your time and take it easy, so it's a very calming experience--even with a mover and shaker like D.



.
And remember those flowers that I stick in her hair every chance I get? Well today was no exception, and we all know what butterflies are drawn to...


Her eager hands and fearless heart were ready to touch everything in sight (a personality trait I consider a true gift)! And thankfully those who witnessed her tearing leaves off of the trees (only 2 I promise!), promised not to tattle. ;)


She was enthralled!


I just had to add this one...notice anything different? I went back to blonde.... :) AND Ror had just bought DD The Hungry Little Caterpillar for her 6 month birthday (don't even start with us...we know we spoil....we're dealing with it ;), so Dia also had reading material to re-inforce the butterfly "concept." Can you say, "KONOS co-op"?

Whadd'ya Think?

So for a while now I've been impressed with several home-school families and their children. After having Dia, I am now desperate to pick their brains! So Rory and I have been tossing around the idea of holding a Parenting Forum where we invite said impressive home-school parents to let us pepper them with questions. It'd be open to anyone who wanted to come and the parents we'd invite (I already have a list!), would be there not based on perfection or unattainable success but based on a few criteria: they home-schooled their children, their children have all completed/are in the process of completing college, their family has remained close and tight-knit. And it's actually the reputation of their children that has impressed me the most--which as you know is saying a lot!

I am not on Facebook any more so I don't have access to everyone's thoughts like I used to, so I'm putting it out here. What do you think? Are you a parent--would you attend? There may be only a minimal fee due to renting a location if necessary.

If there's not enough interest, I'm just going to have call up each couple and take them out to dinner myself! :)

My Signature Color

I can't even tell you what a treat it was to find this at the nail salon today. It's not just any pink nail polish. No sir. I picked up the bottom of the bottle to read its fancy schmancy title and found this on the sticker:

"I'm Indi-a Mood for Love"

Are you kidding me?!?!?! And it couldn't be more pink or more fitting.

What an absolute treat!

You can thank me later

For any AZ ladies (and even gentlemen) looking for a good deal, I recently found Luminous Skin Studios in Old Town Scottsdale. Suzy is the owner and she is offering amazing deals!!! Let's just say I am getting a series of microderm abrasion treatments for...wait for it.....$37 a piece (normally $140 in a doctor's office)! I can't even get a normal old facial for that price! She is offering special pricing during the economic downturn and the prices are unbelievable. She is also one of the nicest women I've ever met in my life, and I can't tell you how great my skin looks after just 3 treatments (I have a few more to go....blasted acne scarring!!).

So if you're looking for a good deal on skin care, skin products, photofacials, make-up (she carries Jane Iredale, among others, for 25% off!), microderm, laser hair removal, etc., check out Luminous!!! I don't think you can even come close to these prices any where else.

Please please please tell her I sent you. Not only do I get a free treatment for every three referrals, but I'd just love to send a bunch of friends her way!

You can thank me later. :)

It's a Wedding!

There are so many glorious things to write about my sister-in-law's wedding. Rachel Starks became Mrs. Parker last Saturday and it had the mama in me planning outfits and timing schedules weeks in advance. I searched high and low for a yellow dress (Rachel's colors were yellow and gray and since Daddy was an usher we wanted to color-coordinate) for a nearly 6-month old and ended up being saved by Etsy. Have you Etsy-ed? If not, you are so missing out. If so, well, you know! :)

At any rate, in all the planning and thinking ahead, I was stunned when I saw the bride coming down the staircase. How did this funky girl become so glamorous? She was absolutely stunning. It was such an honor to witness her take vows and begin her married life.

It was also a thrill to introduce Dia to a lot of Rory's family who live in California and had yet to meet our Bugs. The big shocker for Rory and I was that Dia ended up introducing herself....How did a mere baby do this, you ask? I still don't know! All I know is that we got to the wedding a second before late (too late to meet and greet before the ceremony) and then were rushed through pictures and dinner so that we ended up doing a lot of our greeting on the dance floor. But before we could take DD around, Ror and I decided to cut a rug and left DD with my sister for just a second. Before I knew it, I looked over and there was D--in the arms of an uncle she had never met! Cool as a cucumber, she stayed and cooed with this strange man for quite a while before being passed on to another new family member....and another...and another....and another. And I am watching, stunned, from the dance floor, waiting for her to cry out to me and Daddy to save her. Yeah, well that never happened!

It never happened! She went around and around without hesitation or fear. At one point, she even reached out for one of Rory's California aunts, grabbed her face with her hands and planted a kiss right on her face! I am telling you, this child of mine is the charmer of the ages! She had the entire wedding in the palm of her hand in a matter of seconds. I met Rachel's mother-in-law, the wedding planner, the Wright House staff and others simply because they wanted to say hi to Dia. And what did Dia do? Well, first of all, she was the one who smiled at them from afar and lured them in. Once there, she held their eyes in hers and smiled and cooed until they were grinning from ear to ear. Public relations specialist. I am telling you, she has a future in dealing with people!

I am still processing this blossoming moment of hers. It is a real answer to prayer as I have been beseeching the Lord to show me more of who she is and who He designed her to be. Let me tell ya right now, it's a social butterfly and charmer. I am so proud of this little Bugs. We thought we'd stay maybe an hour or two to dance. This girl closed the party down!! The dance floor was indoors, dark with a strobe light and blasting music. D never flinched! She was in her element! At one point, Rory even took her in the middle of the dance floor while everyone circled around. He held her standing on the floor while crowds of people clapped and cheered this 2-foot dancer on and she just smiled and smiled!

Par-tay girl! It also gave her Daddy and I a chance to dance. We danced a lot, actually! Something else I hadn't planned on with a 6-month old. What can I say?

Here are some pics of our yellow dream girl and the wedding:


It's hard to see, but this is Dia first entering the dance floor. This child is thrilled with the dark, loud, crazy room!


Aunt Alli, always a favorite!


More proof of the girly-girl I mentioned before!


Big brother and stunning bride


Is it possible she takes after Daddy?!


Daddy's first dance with Dia--Righteous Brothers "Unchained Melody" AW!!!

There are not words enough to describe these last few months. Sometimes I have to remind myself to exhale...I am so often in awe I think I subconsciously hold my breath!

India June will be 6 months as of the 18th of March and everyday is new with her. She is constantly learning, taking in and moving forward! And she is a LOT of fun. Lately I've noticed that at some point just about every day, she just wants to laugh! She'll look at me kind of expectantly with a big grin and just about anything I do makes her crack up! Which of course makes me (and anyone else around) crack up, too! We're just a couple of silly monkeys sometimes. :) My mom and sisters have also found that being loud draws big grins from our girl. Hint: think Daddy. Rory is not a soft-spoken guy and Dia apparently loves her daddy's booming voice and playful demeanor.

Our bug has absolutely no fear, knows almost always exactly what she wants and will smile at anyone and everyone (although sometimes she checks my face first to see if I approve a stranger!). We see a lot of the gift of exhortation in her. I have been re-reading (for the third time?) a great book called Prayer-Saturated Kids by Cheryl Sacks and Arlyn Lawrence. In it, they encourage parents to seek out God's original design for the children in their lives so that's a big prayer of mine right now. I love watching the person who is Dia unfold before me.

Tante (that's aunt in Dutch) Sheena stopped by my mom's house several weeks ago and took a few snapshots of Dia (not posed, mind you--these are just a display of Sheena's raw talent), so I thought I'd post a few. (I wish they were a bit more recent--they were taken over a month ago and she already looks so different! But they are simply too beautiful not to display.):

*DISCLAIMER: My daughter is exceptionally beautiful. You may want to take a few breaths before viewing the following as it could cause loss of breath. ;) You may also want to contact the highly talented photographer, a woman I am blessed to call family, who took these shots (again, these are not posed, just raw talent as I changed a diapey). Check out the photographer's website here. Ok, it is now safe to go on... :)


We really do love each other. A lot.



Speechless...


LOL.


Masterpiece of the Creator and daughter of our dreams. Those eyes!!!


Bonded. Forever and ever.

All Things Girl

Let me preface this post with the truth: Rory and I agreed that we would not force our daughter into a life of frilly pink things. That is a true statement.

The other side of the story: I changed my mind!

Growing up, I had floor to ceiling floral wallpaper. Every where you looked were tiny roses and a border of girls in white bonnets. Ugh. I can honestly remember counting the roses and wondering why, oh why did there have to be so many little flowers all over my wall? Alas, being the open-minded mother that I am, I envisioned giving my daughter a white palate with which to paint her own images on.

Until I stopped in a baby clothes store and saw the hot pink tutu! At about 2 months of age, she needed to have it, no question. You have probably witnessed the photographic evidence of said tutu...she tends to wear it a lot. I originally bought it just for our family photo shoot, but since then, it's just been too much fun not to wear.

And then we went to Kid-to-Kid and saw the headbands...and the flower clips...and the sunglasses.

And that is how Dia learned to accessorize:


DD at one of Aunt Jessa's favorite spots, Sola Cafe in Old Town. (She is clutching Gerard, the French Giraffe. We have Monkey, who is a monkey, Bunny, who is a bunny, Bear, who is a bear, and Sophie and Gerard the French giraffes! We like to think they hail from the Paris Zoo....)


All Girl--All Beauty


Stylin! And it should be duly noted that all accessories are never attempted to be removed by India. She has never once even remotely appeared bothered to have things attached to her head or even her face! In fact, as the picture shows, she'll push them back up so they don't come off! You go, Girl! :)